The Moon That Embraces the Sun
by Cutie Bunny
Summary: Hayashi Yuzuki is a psychiatrist. Despite her chic and competent exterior, she is compassionate towards her patients but dismissive regarding her personal life. While she specialise in fixing the lives of other people, have trouble fixing those closest at hand, her own. She soon finds herself transferred into the universe of Bleach, 110 years before the start of the series.
1. Sun Reaching for the Moon

The Moon That Embraces the Sun

Chapter I:

Sun Reaching for the Moon

* * *

Title: The Moon That Embraces the Sun

Rated: M

Summary: Hayashi Yuzuki is a psychiatrist. Despite her chic and competent exterior, she is compassionate towards her patients but dismissive regarding her personal life. While she specialise in fixing the lives of other people, have trouble fixing those closest at hand, her own. She soon finds herself transferred into the universe of Bleach, 110 years before the start of the series.

Pairing: Aizen x OC x Ichigo, OC x Grimmjow

* * *

**This is my first attempt on Bleach fanfiction so I hope for your encouragements, and criticisms (respectful ones) are welcome. Remind you I haven't been the most faithful fan of Bleach in terms of reading and watching every episodes/chapters so please understand if I get any information wrong or intentionally change for the story's purpose.**

**Also since I'm a mere student with no major in any fields, I'm not an expert in any relevant information of my character's speciality so although this story is primarily based on neuropsychiatry, all the patients' cases and unique diagnosis are fictional.**

**In terms of name, I will be using Japanese format as in placing their last name before their first name e.g Aizen (Surname) Sousuke (First name) instead of Sousuke Aizen. And I will address other minor characters with only their first name unless otherwise stated.**

* * *

Hayashi Yuzuki, a first year residency in psychiatry at a University Hospital, silently sipped her coffee with mundane silent. Drinking the bitter drink alone in the hospital garden was an ingrained routine of hers' regardless how unsociable she may seem to others.

_Beep, beep_

She took out the phone from her white coat pocket, pressed the call button and put it against her ear, "Hayashi Yuzuki."

"Hayashi -san, I think you need to come in."

"Ok." With that, she stood up.

* * *

Over at the hospital, Yuzuki and her team oversee their newest patient—an abuse victim who had attempted suicide and heavy silence falls as the curtain drew open to reveal the battered image of such brutality. Few of her fellow avoided looking long, their head bow down and their lips tries to form a sound but no one is willing to break the silent and speak first.

The woman's leg was bounded in full heavy cast from fracture of bones, arms raw with minor burns, lip split and dry with blood, eyes heavily swollen, and face black and blue from fresh wounds on top of the old ones. She was without a doubt, a victim of repeated domestic violence.

An angry family member barges in, kicking the bed, yelling at the already beaten and bruised patient, "Get up, you rascal. The doctor is here."

The patient is unmoving and limp; obedient and compliant to the abuse she is given like a human doll. She was entrenched into this vicious cycle which only speaks volume about the chaotic family dynamic in her household until death seems to be the only way 'out'.

"You're not getting up?" The family member throws the blanket covering her and slaps her head.

"Hey!"

"What are you doing?!"

Several doctors intervene, holding the man back, "Look here!"

"He is putting up a show." The man gritted out, face red with anger, "He isn't even sleeping. This crazy bastard! Giving disgrace to my family," so he doesn't even consider her as a member of their family, "What guy cuts off his balls?!"

The man charges toward the patient, "HEY! WHY AREN'T YOU GETTING UP?!"

He grabs the collar of the patient, pulling her back up before throwing her savagely to the bed, "Doctor, he isn't supposed to be here! HE'S A MAN, BUT SAID THAT HE IS A WOMAN AND CUT OF HIS BALLS! HE IS A **MAN **BUT HE LIKES MAN, THIS BASTARD!"

Yuzuki doesn't take her eyes off the transgender patient, even for a moment with composed expression, noting she was fully awake and aware, listening without muttering a sound.

"BRING THE PSYCHIATRIST! JUST LOCK HIM UP IN THE MENTAL HOSPITAL!" The man demanded aggressively.

She takes note of the oncoming tears.

"BRING THE PSYCHIATRIST RIGHT NOW!"

Yuzuki finally speaks, "She's here, right now."

The man for the first time seems to notice her, "What?"

"Who are you talking informally right now?" She retorts, arms crossed, "After she get treated, register if you want her to be examined by a psychiatrist." With that, she walked passed him.

"HE DOESN'T NEED TREATMENT! JUST LOCK HIM UP RIGHT NOW."

Tears slips pass the patient's closed eyes silently.

* * *

"Fujiwara Hiro, 24 year old, she's a transgender that got her surgery three years ago. She came to me two years ago." Aki Sato, a fellow doctor, informed, "Her family said that she is crazy and beat her up to chase the ghost away. Then they said she was possessed by the devil, so she got beaten again. And now, the three relatives beat her up while taking turns."

As they pass the corridor, her eyes lands on the four people seemingly in heated discussion, the angry relative from before with two other men and a woman she presumes to be the victim's mother. The interns glares at them with dismay, not even attempting to hide their disgust.

"She is going to die if it keeps going like this." He sighed.

"Transform her to a room in the psychiatry room." Yuzuki said, "Tell them to give a consult order to psychiatry, make sure that she is transferred to our branch. If she stays here, she's going to be beaten up until she's dead."

"Okay, let's do that." He agrees, giving her a light 'well done' slap on her arm before going to attend to other patients.

She turns to the intern, "If we get the patient, what are we going to do?"

Of course, like any other students, they hated being asked questions and all glanced at each other. She clicks her fingers in front of one intern with glasses, Daisuke, "You."

He panics for a moment before reciting the instruction they learned from books, "We have to do history taking**(1)**. Especially about their childhood, adolescence, and the gender roles that-"

"Are you trying to make it obvious that you're an intern?" She interrupts then turned to the intern next to him, "What about you?"

"Just let her go." The second guy, Ryo, voiced, "What did that woman do wrong? When she was getting sex reassignment surgery, she didn't have any psychological problems except for Gender Identity Disorder**(2).**"

Yuzuki let out a deep breath; they were testing her patience with their bumbling and biased answers formulated from a textbook.

"The doctor probably told her that. She probably got the surgery after that confirmation." Ryo clarified.

"That's right." Sho, a man of bigger build, agreed, "Being gay isn't a psychological problem but a problem that has to do with preference. All the psychological doctors in the world already concluded that and deleted it from the DSM**(3)**."

"Give it to me." She gestured the patient chart to be handed over, giving light hits on the two interns' head but Daisuke, "Do you think I don't know that?" she scolded, "If a person is beaten up like a dog, it's common sense to run away. But that woman kept getting beaten. Does she have a problem or not? She was lying down like a corpse without any willingness, reaction, or hope. Is there a chance that she has depression or not?"

The three bowed their head in shame, "Yes, there's a chance." They said in unison.

"Then do we have to consult her or not?!"

"We have to."

"If you guys know now, why aren't you leaving?" She scolded, hitting Daisuke before thrusting the chart to Sho with vehemence.

"Go." She ordered and sent the three interns on their way.

Yuzuki sighed, tired and exhausted; she turned with intent of getting another coffee when her phone vibrated. Checking the caller ID, she answered them with a smile, "Ah, Kuba-senpai."

_"How's the work? Is it what you expected?"_

"Horrible." She joked, "Every day is one drama after another even though I've been here for nearly nine months."

_"Getting tired already? There's more to come, you know."_

"Well, that means I'll have to see you more, isn't it?" A small smile appeared on her lip, "I'll s-"

"Fujiwara-san! Fujiwara-san!"

She heard her interns voice echoing throughout the hospital, seeing them frantically running from upstairs.

Puzzled, Yuzuki looked around, scrutinising the face of many passer bys before glancing over her shoulder. Her eyes landed on the pair of mother-daughter heading to the exit, realising she was dragging the patient out, who had her head low and face hidden by grey hoody.

"Fujiwara-san!" they continued to shout.

She and the mother's eyes met, eyes widening like a deer caught in headlight and they increased their pace.

"Fujiwara-san!" Yuzuki chased, "Fujiwara-san!"

"Excuse me." She apologised as she pushed passed the group of people, "Fujiwara-san!"

The pair quickly entered the taxi, the girl's eyes empty as the mother apologised, "I'm sorry doctor! She doesn't want to be admitted to the hospital." She closed the door and Yuzuki caught up with the taxi, hitting the car window and hoping for it to stop.

"No, it's dangerous! Mother!" She shouted, running toward the departing taxi in danger of losing them, "Fujiwara –san! Mother! They are going to kill her! You're going to kill her!"

But to no avail, the taxi left, leaving Yuzuki cursing under her breath.

_Beep, beep, beep_

"Oh, honey." She answered, breathless.

_"Just save me." _He pleaded, _"It's for education. We already set up the stage and invited audiences, please don't disappoint the students. Hayashi Yuzuki! Hey!"_

She sighed, thoughtful for a few moments, "Okay. I will do it because I love you. I just have to come to your school right. I understand."

* * *

Eto Yamato smiled in relief as he hung up the phone, his footsteps lighter as he greeted his students.

"Senpai!" A sprightly voice called, grabbing him by the arm familiarly, "What happened?"

"Ah, Akari," He acknowledged, "She's coming."

"That's a relief!" She grinned in excitement before pulling him along. They arrived in the school backyard and entered into the isolated shelter containing PE equipment.

She gave him a peck on his lip and he steps back, "No. I have to get ready for my next lesson."

"So we can just do it quickly and leave." She cooed, giving him a coy look before closing the gap between them and locking him into deep, desperate kiss. He returned with same passion, soon getting caught in the heat and deafened to the sound of the door opening.

A foot wearing pink heel entered, halted, before staggering out silently.

* * *

Her next patient was a man, Mura Kurou, a late 20s…with broken heart who without a doubt in the first wheel of the Kübler-Ross model**(4)**. She gently put the cup of tea in front of him and sat across, resting one leg on top of the other and tucked the leg against her ankle.

He sat crouched, arms in fist, head down and eyes staring into far space, "I'll tell you a story about someone I know." He started, not touching his tea.

"A guy who broke up with his loving girlfriend a few days ago, just a person that I know," She nodded understandingly, "He's taking it hard and is really sad. What do you think?"

"Is this your story?" She asked gently.

"No, this isn't my story." He denied, "It's just a story of a person I know."

"What happened?" She then asked.

"He loved her so much. Says he falls for her even though they met over a year. He used to tell girls that he was single but he even showed her off to his friends. Even his mom thought she was pretty just like how his mom told him when he was young; she said that his girlfriend was perfect from head to toe. That's how much his mom liked her. He took her home every night on a taxi then he would take the last bus back home. It was hard work but he wanted to be with her at least another minute because when he was with her, his worries melted away. They were so happy like that. The story is good till here, full of happiness."

"Who is that person?" She asked.

"Uh… just someone I know."

"And then?"

"He said something started to feel strange at some point. They used to be so close but they started to feel awkward. He said he had no idea why and after a while, he found out that she was leaving far away. She said, 'let's stop this now', as she cried and he tried clinging onto her but seeing her in even more pain, he let it go. I told him, just face it, she didn't love you but he kept denying it. He kept begging like a starving beggar but what she gave him was not love but pity. I'm so sad-"

Yuzuki looked at him pointedly as he quickly caught up with sudden slip ups, "Did I just say 'I'm'? I guess I got too into the story, you understand, right?"

She nodded, "But how do you know the story so well?"

"Oh because we're really close…" He clarified.

"And…" She said softly, "Is that person you?"

He sat quietly for a long time and she waited, patiently, never leaving his form. They stayed like this before he broke the silent, "Yeah, that guy is me…it's really hard and I'm really sad. It was probably really hard for her and she probably had no one to talk to about it with. But that I didn't know anything like a fool and that I couldn't help her at all… makes me angry. But that it was all for someone else and not me… makes me really angry. But the thing that angers me the most… is the me who won't be able to forgive her in the end. I'm angry at myself. So what should I do?"

"Then how about you?" She asked, "Even if she had no one to talk to, in the end, she had you. But you, who do you have? I'm only a psychiatrist and even if we heal minds, it is up to the patient themselves to mend their own pain. We are just help. The biggest pain is the pain when you can't tell anyone. When you feel out of breath, you have to let the air out in order to live. Or else, you will die. There are not many people who can truly love. It's because they meet the wrong person. But l'm sure you will find someone who will truly love you. Don't make yourself miserable. Before she leaves, why don't you tell her your side of the story? Farewells should be made in advance. Because if it is truly the end, you cannot make farewells."

* * *

It was a late lunch break and she was enjoying her coffee with mentor, Noya Yuko, an ex-wife of Kuba-senpai, and the wife of a fellow doctor who arrived just now.

"He won't get a divorce, and he won't get counselling!" She shouted in frustration.

"Yuki, for now why don't you try urology…" Yuko advised, "The cancer, if caught early-"

Yuki sighed, "How bad must it have been for me to come in this state while cleaning the house?!"

Yuzuki put her arms around the woman in comfort.

"You!" The husband was without a doubt surprised and angry at the surprise visit, "Come here." He took her hand to pull her away for a private conversation only for her to shake his hand off.

"You don't hang onto me at home. Why are you holding onto me here?" She shouted, "You are a patient! If you don't get treated, I'm going to court! You don't think I can do it? With that, she walked away.

"Lusting after it…" He muttered, "Isn't lusting after it a disease, too?"

"If you don't love her, get a divorce." Yuko advised, "If you love her, and it doesn't work out, then start your treatment with me. You take a 12-years-younger-same-zodiac-sign woman and make this kind of mess."

"I'm not a patient!" He denied stubbornly.

* * *

"Peek-a-boo!" The woman cooed affectionately to the 'child' in her arm. She was a patient who thinks she's holding her baby when all she's holding is air, "Baby."

The patient's husband could do nothing but sigh.

"Doctor, our baby is really cute, right?"

They smile.

"Where's the baby?!" the husband shouted in chagrin before marching out of the room infuriatedly.

The wife pouted, "Why wouldn't the baby be here? It seems like he's gone blind. Right, child? Say 'hello' to doctors! You're doing so well!" she grinned, "Doctor, you have to greet the baby!"

"Hi!" They waved cheerfully, all but one intern who glanced at the surrounding doctors confusedly.

They greeted the patient good-bye and as soon as the patient was out hearing range, Yuzuki scanned the chart, adding some notes.

"She came into the emergency room yesterday?" Yuzuki asked.

"Yes." Ryo confirmed, "The husband brought her in because she was nervous that he couldn't see the baby."

"Do a history taking on the patient's husband." Yuzuki ordered.

"Yes." Ryo nodded.

"Why did you greet the baby as if it were there?" Daisuke chirped innocently only to be answered with blank 'don't-you-know' look from the fellow doctors.

"What? You're the only one who can't see the baby?" Yuzuki chuckled.

"It'll be long time until he can see the baby." Yuko added, flicking his head.

Yuzuki pointed toward Ryo then to Daisuke and wiggled her finger motioning and Ryo nodded, understanding before she walked away satisfied as Sho followed.

"What is she talking about?" Daisuke blinked naively only to be punished by the hit from the chart board.

"Think from the patient's perspective!" Ryo chided, "A doctor is someone who acknowledges if the patient says she sees the baby! If you don't have the confidence to treat a patient without bias, quit psychiatry!"

"Is it SAD (Separation Anxiety Disorder)**(5)**?" Ryo sighed in exasperation at his question.

"It's a brief psychotic disorder**(6)** that arises from severe mourning! It's common."

Daisuke nodded, getting another light hit.

* * *

Yuzuki calmly waited for the man finished wiping her table with his gloved hand as if it were a common occurrence and when satisfied there were no dusts marring the white material; he took off the gloves and awkwardly smiled at her.

"I think the clomipramine**(7) **I prescribed is working well." She commented, slowly extending her hand toward his and gently touched his knuckle, "Still, you wash 30 times a day…it's still a lot. Right?"

"Sti-still," He stuttered, "It's gotten a lot better."

Yuzuki forced a smile, nodding, "It does seem so, seeing as you're not moving your hand." She tapped her fingers more invasively and he quickly snatched his hand up, taking out anti-bacterial wipes and scrubbing the area where she had touched.

"Okay, so for today should we start a more tough behaviour treatment?"

"Eh?" He gasped.

Yuzuki picked up the bin and poured the content on the white table.

"Agh!" He yelled in disgust.

"I'll pick the cleanest one." Yuzuki smiled, picking up a pen she pointed toward the baby wipes, "Touch it."

"Uhm…I feel like I'm going to catch a disease." He rationalised hesitantly.

"If you catch a disease, I'll fix it for you." She justified, "Hm?"

"Why do I have to touch it?" Beaded sweat trailed down the side of his face, "I can just live like this."

"If you live like that, you're going to die cleaning. Just try it, lightly."

The man took a deep breath, stared at the tissue before he looked up, "How can I do it lightly?"

"Just lightly." She encouraged, "Lightly."

The man approached the tissue carefully as if it were a viper ready to sink its fangs into his skin before pulling it back with a sigh.

"In all my forty years, I have never touch anything dirty."

Yuzuki nodded in understanding, "Even if you've never touch it for over forty years, touching it is one second." She grabbed the tissue without a moment of hesitance before putting the wipe in front of him, "Now."

She grabbed his hand, guided it to the wipe before fisting the tissue into his hand. The man gasped in shock.

"How does it feel?"

"It's wet." He squeaked out.

"That's not dirty. It's just wet." She reasoned rationally, "You're doing well. Now, 1,2,3, count to 10. Let's do it together."

The man took a deep breath, "…4….5…"

* * *

It was 4:55 by the time she arrived in front of her boyfriend's school. She entered through the school gate and into the building when before Yuzuki had time to register; she staggered back as someone toppled into her, arms embracing her waist, "Nee-chan!"

Yuzuki grinned, "Akari!" She hugged back.

"Come, I'll take you to the assembly hall." Akari grabbed her hand and guided her through the school corridor, "So since you became a psychiatrist officially, does that mean your sex and male phobia is healed?"

Yuzuki only gave her a small smile, "The precise nature of my disease is…insecurity and relationship avoidance including fear of commitment."

"Well, I'm sure it will get better once you get married." She consoled.

* * *

"Today's topic is about good and evil – a subject that has been long debated for many years." The principle remarks to the crowds, a mixture of students, young adults and parents, "Today a visiting professional psychiatrist will be discussing this. Please welcome Hayashi Yuzuki-san."

As she stepped into the hall, she was welcomed with enthusiastic clapping, all fascinated with their perspective of psychology. She sat down with a co-host after a firm hand shake and introduction of themselves, a fellow teacher as she began to ask questions.

"How can we understand the minds of a criminal, who are not 'normal'?" Hara Nanami asked.

"Well, for one thing, what's 'normal'? We must understand it is not entirely their fault." Yuzuki explained, "It all starts from a psychological illness. It's a crime caused by disorder."

"Can you deceive a psychiatrist by faking depression?" Nanami questioned.

Yuzuki nodded, "Yes." Then added, "But only if you don't get caught by psychiatrists with degrees like me." for a little comedic effect. The crowds chuckled.

"Yuzuki-san, is the pure intention a human will, or is violence a human will?" Nanami challenged, "This heated discussion, is there a way to prove it?"

"Perhaps." Yuzuki entertained, "'I wanted to hurt someone at least once during my lifetime. Like hitting them, cursing them, or killing them.'" She raised her hand and slowly, all the audiences put their hands up in the air.

"Then for those of you with your hands raised, only if you actually did beat someone up, then please stand up."

"Oh!" Nanami gasped in surprise as many students consisting of girls and boys including several parents stood up, "Oh wow."

"Then again," Yuzuki asked, "Please remain standing if you ever murdered someone. The other people may sit down." Of course, everyone immediately sat down and claps erupted with several awed 'Ooohs'.'

"I think this is the human will." Yuzuki reasoned, "Then shall we try again, using sexual desires this time. For men out there. A woman who's passing by, a woman you don't know. You suddenly felt aroused by that woman. It's okay if you cover your face and stand up."

Almost all men stood up (against their significant half's glares) and those who didn't were under a heated gaze of their wives or girlfriends who knew and daring them to do so.

"Oh, my." Nanami giggled.

"So for that women passing by, or the next door woman, or even a woman you've never met before, please continue if you sexually assaulted them."

They all sat down.

"Of course there's none." Nanami acknowledged and another claps erupted amongst the crowds.

"Anyone can have scary thoughts about anyone." Yuzuki endorsed, "But that doesn't lead it to action. Like as it was proved in the audiences, because of our self-control that prevents us from committing such things."

People nodded.

"How about we take some questions from the audiences?" Nanami suggested and a girl stood up.

"Why do people murder?" She asked.

"Murder gives them a sense of power. Sex and power are seen as mutually exclusive. To them, murder is like sex, perhaps even more…stimulating than sex." Yuzuki revealed, "That makes them feel powerful, in control. It makes them God. Would you give that up?"

Murmurs of debate broke out amongst the crowds.

"One thing you should understand is that no two killers are the same. They each occupy their own point on the behavioural spectrum. Genetics, brain chemistry, psychology, and environment are all factors. Killers has little tell-tale signs which differentiate one killer from another: whether it's the place they dump the bodies of their victims, or the type of souvenir they take from the victim (hair, a piece of jewellery, or clothing, etc.), or how they prefer to kill their victims; or even the particular type of victims they prefer and that's how law enforcers use psychology to catch them."

"As you know, our nation is haunted by news of murders and kidnapping incidents day by day…" A woman, seemingly middle aged, carefully ventured, "And it seems serial killers are everywhere. Is there's a way of knowing? Are all murders psychopaths?"

"Definitely not, in fact it seems most serial killers are not psychopaths, and it is a definite fact that most psychopaths do not become serial killers. They could be your sons, your husbands, your daughters, your friends, your colleagues, your neighbours. Being a serial killer is essentially the definition of antisocial behaviour, but not all serial killers even have ASPD (Anti-social personality disorder)**(8)**, although of course many do. Many psychopaths and sociopaths have charming personalities, manipulative, and they learn to mimic emotions, despite their inability to actually feel them, and will appear normal to unsuspecting people and that is why they often make successful businessmen or world leaders. Not all psychopaths are motivated to kill. But when it is easy to devalue others, and you have had a lifetime of perceived injustices and rejection, murder might seem like a natural choice."

"We understand you have a degree in criminology along psychology, so do you have any advice for those who wish to enter law enforcement as psychologists or profilers?"

"There are certain clues at a crime scene which, by their very nature, do not lend themselves to being collected or examined. How does one collect love, rage, hatred, fear? These are things that you're trained to look for. So anyone else would have just seen a man who looks like a guy next door, but you see a killer."

More clapping.

"Now the time is coming to an end," Nanami sadly revealed, "Is there's any final sayings you wish to make?"

"I will give out a final problem." Yuzuki said before ripping out two pieces of papers and holding it up for everyone to see, "In these here, they all say that everyone will die. But the attacker lies to the victim, telling the victims that one of this says you can live. If you pick that one, you can live."

"What if they say, 'you choose.'" Nanami questioned curiously.

"That can't be." Yuzuki shook her head, "Because the victims always choose. What would you choose? In conclusion, the victim survived. Whenever life is difficult, we always think that there is no way to live. Just like everyone here who doesn't know the answer. But, a psychiatrist like me will tell you that's not the answer. There is hope no matter how difficult the situation is. Whether you have a small problem, or a variety of troubles, when your heart hurts or when your heart has a cold, coming to see a psychiatrist is one of the hopes you have to survive. Thank you." She bowed.

Louder claps erupted amongst the audiences.

* * *

It was almost dark by the time she got out of the school, making sure to avoid the audiences and desperate to get back to hospital for good night sleep. She headed toward the road where the taxi driver would see her better. A surprised yelp escapes her lip when an arm shot out from the dark and wraps around her neck and pulls her back into someone's chest.

"Hey," It was Yamato, "Lecture suits you. Do you want to do it once more?"

Yuzuki smirked challengingly, "Is it boring dating me? Do you want to fight?" She shook his arm off of her shoulder.

"Should we go to coffee shop?"

"I can't." She said, "I need to go back to the hospital."

She waved her arm to catch the attention of a taxi driver when Yamato asked, "You're just going to go?"

"Of course."

He leaned in to steal a kiss but before his lip could touch hers', Yuzuki gently pushed him away; looking around to see if anyone saw it, "What are you doing on the street?"

He grinned charmingly, "You know that it's our six hundredth day anniversary together soon, right?" Yuzuki's expression darkened when she realised where this talk was going, "I reserved a hotel room…you won't be able to escape on that day. You remember the promise right?"

She smiled although it didn't reach her eyes and waved her boyfriend good bye as she got in the car.

* * *

_"Are you coming home today?"_

"No," Yuzuki sighed, "I think I'll need to sleep in the hospital tonight. Sakura, you sound ill, are you okay?"

The other line of the phone was quiet ominously before her roommate spoke again, _"I need to tell you something…face to face…"_

"I'll be coming home tomorrow. We can speak then."

_"…Okay…"_

She hung up, staring at the phone in confusion why her friend who was known for her hyper activeness and almost insane by medical standard sounded so upset.

* * *

The next day, she was awoken by an urgent call from her colleague in the emergency unit and Yuzuki's fear for the worse was confirmed by short debrief.

"Yuzuki-san! Yuzuki-san!"

"Where is she?" She asked as soon as she got off the elevator.

"Over there." Ryo pointed to the emergency unit.

She quickly ran to the corner of the room as the nurses were finished wiping the blood from the wounds off of Fujiwara Hiro's face.

"You're here." Sato noticed with a sigh, "Thankfully, it's only an ankle fracture, some small wounds, and abrasions from the fall. Thank goodness she fell on some boxes."

Yuzuki sighed, turning toward the mother in anger, "I told you! I said they would kill your daughter. Are you happy now?"

"Sh…" The mother sobbed, her breath hyperventilating, "She said she wouldn't do it again."

Yuko retrieved a plastic bag and made the mother breathe into a paper bag, "Breath slowly. Slowly." She then turned to Yuzuki with scowl, "Wait outside."

"Transfer her to the psychiatric ward and request a consultation from OS (Orthopaedic surgery)." Yuzuki ordered and walked out of the busy room.

Another frantic sob escaped in muffle as tears flowed down the mother's cheek as Yuko consoled her, "Don't cry. Your daughter's alive. Why are you crying? You just received a big shock. Slowly. Slowly"

* * *

"I won't get therapy." Yuzuki firmly stated, "What's the big deal about me yelling because the mother got her daughter nearly killed? How many doctors are in this hospital? Does it make sense for me to get therapy because she's hyperventilated?"

"This time, the daughter… next time, do you want to see the mother come in for psychiatric treatment?!" Yuto scolded.

Sense of guilt dawned on her as Yuto continued to reason with her, "If the patient dies, you'll be losing one of thousands of patients you see every year. The patient's parent loses everything. But you act like you're more tormented. How dare you yell right now?! Isn't that reason enough for forced therapy? Do you want to be taken out of our dissertation and have your medical license revoked? Do you want to?"

She bit her lip, throwing the paper in her hand to the wall.

"Calm yourself down before you counsel any patients!" Yuto shouted.

"Ugh!"

* * *

After she was calmer and rational, the patient was brought in and she flicked through Fujiwara Hiro's chart almost carelessly, scanning for any added notes.

"There's nothing wrong with me." Hiro said, shyly breaking the silence, "Please discharge me."

Yuzuki looked up as Hiro elaborated further, "I understand my parent. Their son suddenly had surgery because he wants to become a woman and says he loves a man. My brothers were probably shocked as well. My depression…can be treated with medication, right?"

Yuzuki shook her head, "You can't be discharged. From a doctor's perspective, you're in a lot of danger, Hiro-san. To the point of needing forced hospitalisation."

To prove why, she wheels her to a mirror so Hiro can confront her own bruised and battered reflection.

"A woman has been beaten by her own parents and siblings." Yuzuki stated, "Beaten for one sole reason: to be understood by those who can't understand her. Even though her face is bruised and her leg broken, that woman says she wants to go back to that house, that she understands those who beat her." Hiro's lip trembled, eyes glistening with tears that was threatening to fall as she continued to stare at her own reflection she avoided for many years, "If she goes back to that house this time, her head might bust open from being beaten. Not her leg, but her hip might be broken this time. But she says that it's okay, because they're her parents and siblings. She says she deserves to be beaten, so she'll endure the beatings."

Hiro breaks down into tears and the dam broke.

"Run away. This is my prescription as your doctor." Yuzuki said, "If not, you might be beaten to death and I have no choice but to force hospitalisation. My goal as a doctor is to save my patient no matter what."

Hiro nodded as tears that she held up till now fell down like endless flood, "Hiro-san, the only person you really need to understand, even more than your parents, is yourself."

There's certain sadness in Yuzuki's eyes that hints what she said stems from her personal experience.

* * *

Before visiting her senpai, she decided to have a quick visit in the coffee shop owned by Hana.

"Hey, Haru." She greeted to her another roommate, a sweet boy diagnosed with Tourette's syndrome.

"Hey, Yuzuki-chan." He smiled, hugging her.

She walked toward the counter, took out a cupcake and bit into them. The cake was nearly spit back onto the counter when someone slapped her head with something solid.

"Hana!" Yuzuki grinned, glancing at her friend with puppy eyes and gave her an affectionate kiss on the cheek, "Love you, thanks for the food."

Hana shakes her head at her friend's trouble making tendency.

"Where are you going?" She asked, putting the tray onto the counter.

"I have a date with Kuba-senpai."

Hana gave her an accusing stare, "Date my ass. Are you in trouble again?"

"Jeez." Yuzuki rolled her eyes with light sarcasm as she headed back out.

"Mum wants you to visit." She shouted.

"Okay." Yuzuki nodded.

* * *

_One minute left. _Yuzuki thought in relief, it took every ounce of her intelligence to ideate random things for discussion with smooth consistency for the last 59 minutes.

Kuba stared at her helplessly, trying once more, "It has to do with your mother again."

She shifted uncomfortably, clearly disturbed by the subject as he continued to try and open up her heart, "Patient or guardian…the one receiving therapy or not, if she's a mother, you always disagree and get angry."

"Yeah, I know." She acknowledged, knowing as a fellow psychiatrist denial should be avoided at best, "I have past sexual trauma and I believe mother should be motherly. But this is boring, senpai. Let's talk about my patients, okay?"

"Let's talk about…back when you're seven." Kuba suggested, "You talked about it when you receive group therapy in college. When you're mother kissed Ichirou-san…"

"He's 28 year old man and recently broken up with his girlfriend. She's leaving somewhere far and he doesn't know what to do. What do you think?"

"Let's talk about you right now."

Yuzuki's eyes landed on the clock, eyes brightening up with mischievous smile, "Time's up. Let's meet up again next week for no reason at all like this, senpai. You're doing the dinner tonight by the way." She stood up and left the office.

"Bye." Kuba smiled with a wave, watching her exiting his office. As soon as she was gone, he picked up his phone and hastily dialled the same number every time he had sessions with Yuzuki, "Yuko, let's give up! Yuzuki is impossible! She doesn't have any issues seeing patients and…hello? Hello?!"

He dropped his phone and the strains of his work enthral his whole being. The strict professionalism he exhibits lose its composure and finds himself sprawled against his chair, wondering whether time to retire has come.

* * *

Today was a special day for many men of the country. It was the football night and many of Yuzuki's friends had gathered at her sharing house to get together for the support of Japan. Yuzuki, Sakura, Ryo, Kuba, Yuko, Hana, Haru, Akari, Yamato, Daisuke and Sho were all seated at the sofa or the floor, getting ready for the first round of the game with child-like excitement you feel opening up your Christmas present day before.

As soon as Yuzuki entered, Yamato and Akari were first one to greet, pulling her into tight embrace. Sakura's smile fell and as soon as they were distracted by the game, she pulled Yuzuki into the kitchen.

Yuzuki, being observant and sharp she was, scanned her friend's face and noticed the similarities between her and her first time patients who wish to tell her their darkest secret yet fearful of the retribution that might result from exposing its ugliness to the world.

"Sakura, what's wrong?" She asked, coaxing her friend with empathy, "What was the reason you called me so urgently last night?" Yuzuki became more suspicious with thoughts that the problem may lie closer than she think when Sakura keeps glancing over her shoulder.

She had known Sakura for many years and being the same age, 26, encouraged the friendship more deeper and the bond peaked when she start working as a teacher in the same school as her boyfriend. She noticed Sakura was shaking her leg and she only does them when she was nervous or scared.

"You're going to marry Yamato-kun soon right?"

Yuzuki pondered her question for a reason why but could not think of any significant cause.

"If my illness gets better then yes." She answered after a long pause, noting Sakura curling her fingers into a tight fist.

Yuzuki narrowed her eyes, "Sakura, what's wrong? Tell me what you're hiding."

"I-I…" Sakura trailed off, lip trembling and eyes unable to meet her's, "I…saw Akari-chan and Yamato-kun together…"

"Well, they do work at the same school you know." Yuzuki said innocently.

"They were… kissing, Yuzuki…in the school backyard shelter." Sakura revealed then shook her head as if chastising herself for spilling the dirty secret, "I'm really sorry."

Blood drained from her face, looking over at the said pair with dawned realisation.

"YEAHHH!" The room burst into cheer when the team scored a goal.

Yuzuki staggered toward the living room, picked up the remote control and turned off the TV much to the inhabitants shock.

"What are you doing?" Haru asked.

"What is this? Who did that?" Yamato scanned, finally meeting Yuzuki's eyes.

"What is it?" Kuba groaned.

"What's wrong with you?"

"Hey." Yuzuki faced Akari, "Were you deep kissing Yamato?"

The whole room went silent and the temperature seems to drop ten degrees.

"Have you gone insane?" Kuba frowned ludicrously but his eyes shows he surmise her words.

Akari tittered, giving her a dubious look, "Nee-chan, what are you talking about?"

"In the shelter at the back of the school." Yuzuki clarified.

"Yuzuki…" Yamato forced a smiled, "Wh..what are you talking about?"

"Sakura said she saw you."

The whole room turned to Sakura for confirmation but she avoided looking into anyone's eyes.

"Well, you know, Yuzuki…" He stood up in discomfort, "That…that was…that…"

"This bastard really did do it." Kuba realised, standing up with a pillow before whacking him several times into submissiveness, "Stuttering like that means you did it! It's acknowledgement! Bastard!"

"What are you guys doing?!" Kuba shouted to others, "Have you no common sense? Everyone go home! You little bastard."

"Why do these things happen when I'm around?" Yuko sighed, gathering up her things in haste.

"That's what I'm saying." Kuba clicked his tongue bitterly, almost as if he were referring about their past.

Yuko looked over to Akari, "Hey, run if you don't have anything to say."

"FINE!" Akari screeched, startling everyone in the room at her outbursts, "I like Yamato-kun!"

"Hey!" Yuto quickly intervened, noticing the tension was ticking like a time bomb, "Why are you being honest now? Are you pouring gas on a house on fire?" She grabbed Akari's wrist, dragging her to the door.

"I took as much as I could." Akari screamed, "I liked Yamato-kun first, HE'S MINE!" She glared at Yamato, "SETTLE THIS! You said you liked me!"

"What are you doing?!"

"Hey!"

"TELL HER!" Akari bawled desperately, knowing the man she loved will never return nor defend her feelings, "You coward! HEY!"

"GET OUT!" Kuba yelled.

"YOU COWARD! I'M GOING TO KILL YOU!"

There was a sound of a door shutting and the whole room is heavy with silence once more, it's a feeling of suffocation, protracted and brutal. Finding herself speechless and in shock, Yuzuki limply stammered out of the house, Sakura following.

Anger is like a gun loaded with bullet, patiently waiting for someone curious enough to find it, pick it up and aim it - a surrogate to nurture and trigger to birth that malice into the world and like storm, it is unpredictable in its nature and timings. Once unleashed, it destroys everything in its path and sucks others in like black hole.

The irony is that anger stems from something that was once good, like love or compelling desire to protect, but it's that kind of anger that is the most potent of all above the others.

Anger starts slow, never fast or hurried; it needs time to build up. Perhaps that's why it is the most feared emotion of all.

Yuzuki, to Haru, was one of the first people to understand his condition without judgement therefore a person he treasured as his dear friend. He shoots out of his seat, grabs his collar and pummels Yamato to the point others quickly steps in to pull him back with fear it may escalate into accidental killing.

Anger is infectious and soon, all the men in the living room start brawling, leaving the poor neighbour to wonder if their passion for football is a little too passionate.

* * *

The car ride was that of a silent one, tense, melancholy with occasional worried glances from Sakura. Yuzuki's stares had no focus, glazing into the space for she was still yet to come in terms with the most hurtful betrayal. Her phone vibrated and flashed a picture of unfamiliar man.

"Who's that?" Sakura decided to break the uncomfortable stillness.

"A friend."

"He's…not one of your 'men'…right?"

Yuzuki shrugged nonchalantly, "I'm the doctor who cures that but myself, I know, I know."

The whole car ride was in silence.

Familiar house came into view and Sakura stopped the car stopped in front of the door and before Yuzuki got off, Sakura's hand quickly shot out to grab her wrist, "Will you be alright?"

Yuzuki gave her a small smile in assurance, "I'll be fine. Thanks, Sakura."

"Take care."

"You too."

Yuzuki entered the house as her mum greets her warmly with a hug.

"I missed you, Yuzuki."

"Me too, mum." She smiled, returning her hug while staring down at her dad, "Good to see you, onee-chan."

"Hello, sis."

"Hey dad." Yuzuki kneels to greet her dad who stutters his greetings. He was unable to formulate paragraph longer than 'hello' or control his limbs or deliver his thoughts and despite being severely mentally handicapped, he was still her dad, no different from others, whom she loves very much, no matter what others say.

"I'm alright." She answered when his finger twitched toward her and it translated to how much he missed her, "I missed you too."

"Hello?" She heard her mother say to her phone, noticing her mother's face darken slightly. She stealthily walked toward the balcony and noticing the pointed look from Yuzuki, "It's your dad's friend, Ichirou-san."

She quickly closed the door behind her, her sister's baby still wrapped around her mother's back and almost immediately a large grin blossomed as soon as she put the phone on her ears. Her sister glanced at Yuzuki, following the line of her stares but decided to say nothing about it.

**_Flashback_**

**_Yuzuki was seven when she and her big sister ventured outside at rainy night to look for their mother who neglected their father for some times. They came across the nearby park and her eyes landed on a sited couple in midst of passionate kiss, oblivious to their surroundings like reckless teenagers in love._**

**_The sibling froze in shock at the sight, Yuzuki dropping the umbrella that protected them from the dropping streams, recognising the woman in embrace with a familiar man was their mother. Her older sister, young but sill mature enough to understand the implication of their action, quickly picked up the umbrella and positioned her body so that young Yuzuki couldn't see, "Yuzu, let's go eat pocky."_**

**_Yuzuki forced a grin, "Okay."_**

**_Her sister grabbed her hand and promptly pulled her away from the scene but while her sister looked only straight forward, Yuzuki glanced back. The smile of her mother, the loving look that was preserved only for her dad given away so easily was imprinted on her childish mind and even though Yuzuki was younger and naïve to the world of adult's, that day affected her more than anyone else._**

**_End of flashback_**

"-zuki, Yuzuki! Yuzu!" Yuzuki blinked out of her thoughts, staring at her sister in question, "Are you alright?"

"I'm okay." She forced out.

* * *

Yuzuki arrived at the hospital at 7AM as usual, went about with her clients as usual, and drank her coffee as usual, all while avoiding any attempt of counselling from her fellow doctors. Did they think she didn't know how to cope? Did she not attended the same medical school as them?

The day was over for the doctors and she entered the common room for quick rest when she spotted Ryo reading what it looks like…a manga? She silently approached him, tilting her head to see a man dressed in traditional Japanese garbs holding a large katana before catching his attention with a light hit on the head.

"Don't you have anything better to do?"

"Like?" Ryo asked.

"Sleeping? We doctors don't even have time to sleep nevertheless time to read manga."

"This is good manga." He emphasised, more interested in the manga than asking for her wellbeing. Truthfully, Yuzuki was glad he didn't bring up about Yamato unlike her many colleagues.

"It's called Bleach." He said, trying to cajole her into reading.

"Why is it called Bleach? Did someone bleach their hair or something?" Yuzuki laughed, "Or clean something with bleach?"

"Half and half." He shrugged.

"Tell me."

"It'll contain spoilers."

Yuzuki looked at him pointedly, "You know spoilers don't bother me. In fact, it would be nice to know things than to be surprised."

"Okay, so…." Ryo went on explaining about a boy who can see and communicate with ghost, how he met this shinigami and became a shinigami himself but then turns out he was half-shinigami-half-quincy-something from his father and mother, betrayal by a man named Aizen, espada, thousand years of something war etc.

"Interesting."

"Yea, I tell you he's a manga version of Hitler."

"Hm." She shrugged nonchalantly.

"Do you believe ghost?" Ryo asked, "I didn't till I read this."

"I don't believe in ghost." Yuzuki revealed, "I think ghosts are a metaphor to express the dark secrets that we all have inside of us. From pretty mistakes to grave wrongdoings, we all live with guilt in our lives. Don't we all have at least one of these stories in us?"

Ryo nodded. "Still, you can't help but think there's something other than just us."

"That I acknowledge."

"Yuzuki-san." Daisuke called falteringly, almost as if he were tasked with great burden, "Um…Yamato-san is waiting for outside."

The whole room became deadly quiet, all watching what Yuzuki will do.

"Let him wait."

"It's raining…"

"I know." Yuzuki snapped.

* * *

_What am I doing? _Yuzuki sighed, finding herself outside struggling to open up the umbrella which did nothing but to further worsen her angry and frustrated and she was getting soaking wet. The garden was where they met for the first time and it used to contain only happy memories but now it was a trigger of her despair.

"Yuzuki." As soon as she heard that voice, she began to walk away, regretting her decision of coming here.

"Yuzuki!" He grabbed her wrist, spanned her around into tight embrace, "I did wrong. I'm sorry."

At that moment, the moment apology left his lip; she finally breaks down into piteous sobs even as she adamantly rejects any efforts he makes to apologise. She pounds her fists into his chest; she scratches his hands in attempt to get him to stop touching her before every ounce of strength left her body.

"Please calm down and listen to me! Please!" She thrashes around in his hold, finally collapsing on the floor. Yuzuki let out a chocked sob, breathing herself calm before slowly rising up, ignoring the sensation of her clothes sticking onto her skin or strands of hair glued onto her face.

"Yuzuki, Akari had one sided love for me." He explained, "One month ago, while drinking at an outing I was on the day of dropping her off…and it was just that day. The next day I told her I love you and that was a mistake, so let's end it. Akari agreed and sometimes just pushed herself on me. And Sakura happened to see that. It wasn't agreement from both sides, but she was the one sticking onto me."

_Really? _Yuzuki thought sarcastically.

"I can't end it with you."

"I want to end this." With that, she turned around and to her shock, two hands grabbed her cheeks before something warm and wet were forced upon her lip.

It sent chills up in her spine, not from the feeling of leap of her heart but from disgust like bugs crawling all over her body. She slapped him as hard as she could and sent him staggering back. She swayed to the deeper part of the garden until his voice stopped her in her track.

"Not sleeping with a woman that man loves for 600 days. Do you know how hard that is? Drinking together, playing together, and you're on the bed and I'm on the floor! It's not even one or two times, but ten and hundreds!" He confessed, "I held it in. Because I loved you. Ask any men passing by on the streets. If you're the normal, who doesn't sleep with one she loves or whether I'm normal or not."

She throws the infuriating umbrella on the floor and faces him, "Ask them what?! I also know that you're the normal one. I'm the abnormal one."

"Yuzuki…" He stepped forward and she steps back twice.

"I asked you, didn't I?" She paused, "I saw my mum cheating with another man for 19 years, so I think sex as a bad and disgusting thing." She tucks the obtruding strands behind her ears, "Others like it when their hearts flutter while in love, but I hate that as much as vomiting while I'm drunk. Also, being able to kiss you was because I told myself 'it's alright, it's alright', numerous times. Kiss is okay, but sex is not. Whenever I think of sex my heart beats like crazy and I'm still scared of it. 'So, I want you to understand. Even if it's hard help me. I also want to get over this dirty feeling.' I begged you while crying didn't I?!"

Yamato bowed his head in shame and embarrassment, kneeling for forgiveness, "I'm sorry."

"I wanted to jump over it for nineteen years." She bared, "The patients who hated their mums came to love them, and understanding of their husbands who they wanted to kill. While they jumped over their illness, their face which has been dark for years suddenly became bright. What kind of feeling that was? I really wanted to know what it was, with you. Before, if I even thought about kissing or sleeping together, my heart would beat faster and I would get short of breath. I'd also get shattering headaches and took medication. That was ten years ago. I'm a doctor and these are the result of self-treatment. I think of stimulation in my head hundreds of times while thinking about love. For kisses, I think that love between a man and a woman is not a bad thing. It's a beautiful thing. In that way, I would control my mind. 'Maybe if I really meet someone I love, I could experience an unbelievable love like that.' And I thought that that person is you. Although it was one night for you whenever I kiss you now I'm going to think of Akari. Just like how I think about my mum kissing that man whenever I see her. Do you think 600 days were a waste? I waited every day for that. Today is the last day with you."

Everything was said and disclosed, all the good and bad, beautiful and ugly and nothing left ambiguous. It was truly the end. Yuzuki walked away, doing everything in her being not to look back, feeling her shoulders lighter than usual as if eased from the heavy burden she had been carrying for 600 days.

Soon, a pond comes into her view. The place where they shared their first kiss but now, she guess should just be a pond and nothing else, nothing special.

_I wonder when the rain will stop. _Yuzuki wondered, suddenly feeling hatred for the rain and disliking the way it felt on her skin. The sky has darkened and the water that was once clear and transparent was now inky black.

She turned, glancing at the pond nostalgically when something caught her eye. She would have dismissed them if it weren't for the fact that the object reflected upon the water was impossible at the time of the day or at the weather like this.

A full moon.

It was bigger than she ever seen before, as if…the moon was hidden under the water. She warily approached the pond, treading the dock cautiously and knelt on the nearest edge as she could without falling in.

She robbed her eyes, blinking several times to see whether the sight she was seeing wasn't a hallucination. Gingerly, she gently prodded the water with her index finger, watching the ripple vibrating throughout the pond.

Her eyes were fixated on the moon as if in some trance and leaned in further. But before she realised all her weight was dangerously balancing on the one side, it was too late and she fell in. Yuzuki desperately clawed her arms through the water, trying to reach the surface but the water envelop her, sinking further and further down all the way to the bottom. Yuzuki lies peacefully at the bottom of the waters when suddenly; glowing green particles glows between the cracks of the bottom and surround her. Fibres from the green particles attach to her and wrap around her body.

Her eyes slowly closed, all sounds are dulled as if her ears were blocked, and the ambient noise of Yuzuki's circulatory system provides an organic hum. Her lung pushed out the last drop of air through her lip in bubbles. They say hearing was the last sense to go when you die and she must have because she could only hear muffled voices.

"Taichou!"

* * *

**A/N: **

**Did you know that a psychiatrist needs to have their own psychiatrist as well? (This information was confirmed by my psychology teacher) due to the highly psychological stress associated with the job.**

**Yuzuki (First name): Meaning 'Tender moon'**

**Hayashi (Surname): Meaning 'Forest'**

**(1) ****History taking- **The medical history or case history of a patient is information gained by a physician by asking specific questions; either of the patient or of other people who know the person and can gives suitable information, with the aim of obtaining information useful in formulating a diagnosis and providing medical care to the patient.

Medical students are taught on the first day of their clinical studies that history-taking must come before any physical examination or investigations, and that in many cases a physical examination and subsequent investigation will simply confirm a diagnosis.

**(2) ****Gender Identity Disorder (GID) or ****Gender dysphoria** – is a condition where a person experience significant dysphoria (discontent) with the sex they were assigned at birth and/or the gender roles associated with that sex.

**(3) ****DSM (Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders)** **-** published by the American Psychiatric Association, offers a common language and standard criteria for the classification of mental disorders.

**(4) ****Kübler-Ross model**- also known as the five stages of grief is a series of emotional stages experienced when faced with impending death or death of someone. The five stages are denial, anger, bargaining, depression and acceptance.

Kübler-Ross originally developed this model based on her observations of people suffering from terminal illness. She later expanded her theory to apply to any form of catastrophic personal loss, such as the death of a loved one, the loss of a job or income, major rejection, the end of a relationship or divorce, drug addiction, incarceration, the onset of a disease or chronic illness, an infertility diagnosis, as well as many tragedies and disasters (and even minor losses).

**(5) ****SAD (Separation Anxiety Disorder)**- is a psychological condition in which an individual experiences excessive anxiety regarding separation from home or from people to whom the individual has a strong emotional attachment (e.g. a parent, grandparents, or siblings).

**(6) ****Brief Psychotic Disorder**- is a period of psychosis (an abnormal condition of the mind) whose duration is generally shorter, non-re-occurring, and not caused by another condition.

**(7) ****Clomipramine**- Clomipramine belongs to a group of medicines called tricyclic antidepressants. It helps ease the symptoms of a number of different conditions, such as depression, obsessions and phobias; cataplexy associated with narcolepsy

**(8) ****ASPD (Anti-social personality disorder)**- a personality disorder characterised by a pervasive pattern of disregard for, or violation of, the rights of others.


	2. Overshadowed by the Sun

The Moon That Embraces the Sun

Chapter II:

Overshadowed by the Sun

* * *

Title: The Moon That Embraces the Sun

Rated: M

Summary: Hayashi Yuzuki is a psychiatrist. Despite her chic and competent exterior, she is compassionate towards her patients but dismissive regarding her personal life. While she specialise in fixing the lives of other people, have trouble fixing those closest at hand, her own. She soon finds herself transferred into the universe of Bleach, 110 years before the start of the series.

Pairing: Aizen x OC x Ichigo, Jushiro x OC x Grimmjow

* * *

Thank you guys for those who reviewed and alerted my story:

**Cereza101**- Yes! It's surprising how much (and what) you can learn a from TV haha! Glad you like the first chapter and hope you like this one as well :)

**Enchanted** **Elf**- Glad the story is up to your expectation XD Haha check Bleach out whenever you have time but do ask if you have any questions and I'll try my best answering them for you. Enjoy!

**darkangel**- Isn't psychology such interesting subject?! There will be plenty more of psychology in this story in the future. I'll do my best to make this story more interesting! Who the taicho is, well find out!

**luluby**- Thank you! I'm so glad the oc is someone you can relate to! I think love problem in particular heartbreak is something relatable to most girls and hope my oc is realistic enough to connect to all my readers. Enjoy this chapter!

**sweetgrace222**- Me too! Psychology is something I want to pursue further. Glad my character can teach you some psychology haha! I agree, I think psychiatrist as a character in FF is something hard to find.

**Guest#1**- Thank you! Hope you enjoy this chapter as well :)

* * *

"Taichou!"

Jushiro glanced toward his subordinate curiously, noting the astounded tone in his voice as he pointed toward the pond with flabbergasted expression. Almost immediately he realised the source of his subordinate shock as Jushiro stared at the full moon mirrored on the water in contrast to the sun burning brightly above it with the same countenance.

The sun seems to gravitate toward the moon, dangerously looming close to the soul society with its fiery fire, as if reaching for its lover that was so close yet far and untouchable. Suddenly a strange energy stirs in the air, and an eclipse darkens the sky. The sun has been overshadowed by the moon and it devours the sun slowly.

He could sense trepidations and panic spreading amongst the inhabitants by the sudden spike in their reiatsus'. The moon in the water glows strongly with its luminous light, defeating the small darkness surrounding his barracks area before it is faded away with small ripples in the pond and the abyss of the world vanished, returning the control and light to the sun in its wake. Soon in its place were blurry light brown blotch becoming bigger and clearer as it reached toward the surface. The coloured fibres lightly floated on the water and it soon dawned on him that it was strands of hair and that there was someone in the pond.

"Kaien, quick! Pull her out!" He immediately commanded, fearful for the person's current state.

Kaien jumped into the water as soon as the order left his captain's lip, swimming toward the unconscious woman. The shinigami put his arm under her chin, keeping her head above and the body afloat but suddenly a hand shot out to grab Kaien 's hair and yanked them; an instinct stemming from will to live perhaps even when unconscious.

"AGHH!" The whole moment would have been comedic if it weren't for the ominous omen he had just witnessed few seconds earlier and the mysterious woman's appearance with it.

Kaien grunted in pain as her clutch tighten but did not let it distract him from rescuing her. He soon reached to the shore, pulling her onto the dry land and as if her body sensing she was out of danger, her hand let goes of his hair.

Jushiro approached the unconscious woman, scanning her for any potential injuries but found none. What surprised him most was the level of reiatsu she had, just barely hovering above non-existent and so subtle that he could barely tell it was reiatsu. It would have been impossible to infiltrate the Seireitei nevertheless the gate and the wall surrounding it.

He also noted the white lab coat that identified her as a practitioner in medical or laboratory work but he was very much sure she belonged to neither fourth nor twelfth division.

"Taichou, should I report to the higher-ups?"

"Please do, Kaien. Thank you." Jushiro picked her up and carried her into the room, ordering the servants to clean and dress her up into dry clothes.

"I'm done, Jushiro-sama." The maid informed, blushing slightly as he thanked her warmly with a smile.

All he needs to do was to wait.

He sat beside the bed, perusing her more carefully. He could feel she was harmless and seem to have no envisage to harm from his infer of her. Jushiro kept his eyes on the unconscious woman, afraid she may disappear as sudden as she appeared or any reckless behaviour she may act out once conscious from the shocking change of environment.

Her eyes moved under her closed lid in REM sleep, as if navigating her senses in the world of her dreams. He notices a tear slips out of her closed eyes and trails down her cheek then his green eyes meet her dark brown ones that seem black under the dimmed light as her eyes slowly open.

"Where am I?" She asked calmly then looked straight toward him, "Did you rescue me? Are you a doctor?"

She seemed oblivious to the fact she appeared in the place that would have been almost impossible to do so and Jushiro concluded her surprising appearance here was not done by will.

"Ah, no, I'm not a doctor." He answered gently then sombrely added, "You're in the soul society. May I have your name?"

She frowned at the mention of 'Soul society', "What do you mean? What is soul society?"

"Hasn't your shinigami explained it to you?" It was his turn to frown in confusion, mirroring her look.

"Shinigami?" She gave him an incredulous look, "I'm not dead. I just fell in the water and you rescued me, isn't it?"

"H-"

"Taichou!" Kaien called, bowing before reporting, "Yamamoto-Taichou wishes to see the infiltrator as soon as she is awaken!"

Now Yuzuki was dead confused as she took in the guy's clothes then the guy with white hair. The white robe she mistook as a doctor's garb resembled something you would see in an era that was long past then as if someone switched the light bulb, she matched the black robe to the one she saw in Ryo's manga.

"Wait…" She gasped, "I-I…"

Before she could finish the sentence, several men dressed in same black garb appeared behind the man who just appeared now and who she assumes to be the white haired guy's subordinate from the prior addressing title.

One stepped forward, eyeing her with those hard stares, "You are to be summoned to assembly hall by the order of the Commander-captain. If you refuse or defy this order, we will use force and detain you if necessary."

Yuzuki was by no means stupid or idiot so she stood up and obediently offered her hands, "I won't refuse or defy the order. I'll come willingly but if you feel it is safer to detain me, bind my hands."

Jushiro followed her action and stood up from the floor, "She means no harm nor does she have any strength to do so." He defended her, "I'll guard her."

The shinigami looked at the white man in respectful eyes, "If you say so then I shall follow your order, Taichou."

Yuzuki looked around for her shoes and found it next to her damp clothing. Then she examined her current wear which was similar black robe to theirs and high heels and Edo era just don't go together.

She followed the men in black (pun intended) out, admiring the peaceful sceneries and the traditional Japanese compounds that seems to populate the area. Not one modern type of buildings or objects was found.

Yuzuki could feel the stares she was receiving from other shinigamis, stopping in their usual duty to eye her with suspicion and surprise. It was a distance to walk in barefoot but she knew she was nearly there when she entered the barracks with large number 'one' written on the top of its entrance. And number one always signals of importance.

She was led down the long corridor where two large gate-like doors creaked open like scenes you see in drama where the protagonist is dragged into some court room where the room behind the doors can make or break their future.

Her heart frantically bumped under the rib painfully as it revealed large room and before she even walked in, she saw all eyes were on her. Some looked at her with hostility, some with curiosity, and some with wariness at her presence. And they were all dressed in same black robes while some wore white garb above it.

It would have been nice if people weren't standing on each side and giving her looks like she was some threat about to pounce or something. They all had katana by their side too, ready to shed when necessary. She could see, without a doubt, that all these people were some sort military trained.

Yuzuki walked until she was in reasonable distance from an old man in the centre, the fact he stood above the rest highlight his superiority without saying so. She could practically feel the authority reeking out of him. His whole body screamed that law is the law and the command. He hates deviance and divergent.

Even if he seemed like centuries old and deceivably fragile, something in her mind told her she shouldn't underestimate this man based on mere appearance. She also felt a little fearful too, she guessed.

She was so anxious that she didn't see the white haired guy taking his place in the side-line along with others or anything for that matter. Her eyes were on him.

"State your name." He ordered.

"Hayashi Yuzuki." She answered clearly, her tone neutral to convey she is not of harm.

"How did you manage to infiltrate Seireitei?"

"I didn't." She says, "I fell into a pond and when I opened my eyes, I found myself here."

At that moment, the old man's eyes narrowed sharply, he was perceptive enough to see no deception in her eyes and her barely-there reiatsu would have made it impossible for her to sneak in.

"It is true." Jushiro interceded, "I believe she was the cause of the eclipse. I have witnessed it with Kaien."

Murmurs broke out amongst the shinigamis.

"Ukitake," He called, "Explain what had happened."

"I saw moon reflected on the water and solar eclipse occurred. When the moon disappeared so did the darkness. In its place was her."

Yuzuki hated being the centre of the attraction and now she was receiving in full leash.

"But there was no moon in the sky, Jushiro." Said Shunsui.

Jushiro looked at his dear friend with unfathomable stare, "My words exactly."

Yamamoto studied Yuzuki, "Explain yourself."

"I'm a psychiatrist in Tokyo Medical University Hospital." Yuzuki told, "Like he said, I saw a moon on the pond and fell in. When I opened my eyes, I was here."

"Impossible." Yamamoto dismissed, "A human cannot enter the soul society without the aid of a shinigami."

"A psychiatrist?" The one who spoke this time was a slender and very youthful woman with blue eyes and black hair styled in front of her as a loose ponytail, "I have read about them, that in human world there are doctors who specialise in mental illness."

She smiled to the woman, who seems to be involved in medical field from the respectful curiosity she emitted (people with similar jobs seems to recognise their own 'kind' when they see one), "I don't only heal minds. I heal their heart, too."

Then Yuzuki looked at Yamamoto, "The place I'm from is a different dimension from this place so if possible, please take me under your care. Just till I can find a way."

Yamamoto raised his brow at her dare, "Why?"

"I'm not an enemy. But you don't have to look far." Yuzuki confidently said, then looked around the room. "Who goes by the name Sosuke Aizen?"

The whole room became silent but their direction of stares gave her the answer, gazing into Sosuke Aizen's eyes (no wonder people were deceived by this man for ages, he practically looks harmless with those glasses on) and pointed her finger to him accusingly to the collective gasps of the spectators around them. "He's your enemy."

All hell broke loose and louder murmurs broke out amongst them at Yuzuki's accusation.

"SILENCE!"

* * *

The whole room was emptied and the third parties were shooed away except for a man with long blond hair with seemingly bored expression.

The atmosphere was unnerving before Yuzuki broke the silent.

"You don't believe me." She said, "But that's the truth."

"Do you have any evidence for the accusation?"

"If it were you, would you leave any evidence?" She asked rhetorically.

"Don't act so insolent, little girl." He retorted just as sharply.

_I'm 26. _She inwardly rolled her eyes.

"Hirako, do you know anything regarding this?!"

The blond man regarded Yuzuki for a moment before giving him a flippant smile and a shrug, "I have no idea what she's sayin'."

Yuzuki crossed her arm defensively, little bit irritated that he was hiding the fact he knew (although she hasn't seen what he looked like, the name rang a bell), "How long would you have waited until you decide to stop him? How many lies have had to be sanctified? How many consciences devastated? If you think you're about to catch Aizen, that's because he wants you to think that."

His expression was now void of any playfulness now, "Like I said, I know nothin'."

Yuzuki glared at him, "You've made your first crucial mistake the moment you promoted him."

The saying 'keep your friends close but your enemies closer' had its use but also had its disadvantage: you may see your enemy but your enemy also see you.

His eyes narrowed as Yuzuki revealed, "I know _everything_." Then her expression saddened, "Your next."

"What do you mean you know everything?!" Yamamoto interrupted, his body posed in defensively like an animal being threatened.

"Like I said," Yuzuki repeated, "I come from a different dimension," _Where you guys are just some characters in manga people read when they're bored, _"And I know what will happen."

Then she asked a thoughtful question to Hirako, "Do you know what the shortcut to success is? Sticking real close to someone who has made it."

* * *

"I'm Hayashi Yuzuki, it's nice to meet you. I'll be under your care for a time. Please take care of me." Yuzuki bowed to the stunned shinigamis, the rumours of her accusing Aizen of treason in the act of sedition has wide spread already.

The usually cool psychiatrist wasn't bothered by the uneasiness the shinigamis regarded her with but instead looked at Shinji for guidance, "Please show me my room."

Shinji gave her a funny look, probably amused at her blandness but nonetheless kindly lead her to her room personally.

He closed the door behind them, his back still facing her that she wasn't able to see his face, "How much do you know?"

She sat on a wooden chair near the bed, "Probably everything, I guess."

"Publically implicating him was a risky move, ya know." Shinji said, "He will be more careful than ever."

"As if he wasn't before." She replied, "Either he'll be very discreet or he will halt his activity for a moment, at least it'll save few more lives for a time. Or he'll kill me but I'm sure if I turn up dead after I accuse him, it won't work well for him, would it?"

"You're bold, I like that." Shinji smirked.

"In life, you have to be bold." Then Yuzuki asked him, "Why did you not tell him?"

"Let's say our commander-captain; while he is a man of evidence, he is also a man of impulse." Shinji said, "And any recklessness made in this world can have unpleasant effect but I guess you have your reasons. It was clever using him as a scapegoat."

Shinji plopped on the chair opposite of hers', "Well since ya gonna be spending time with my squad for a long time, why don't you introduce yourself more?"

Yuzuki shrugged, "I'm a mere psychiatrist and I don't really have anything noteworthy to mention."

"I read about 'psychiatrist' but what do you guys really do?"

"They talk to me." She said, smiling as he raised his brow ludicrously.

"Just talking?"

"They come to me for all sort of problems," Yuzuki explained, "Things they can't tell others or themselves, all the ugly and dirty secrets they have buried. They could confess to a murder. I can't say a word. They could've murdered someone this morning and I can't say a word."

"That's a bit ironic."

Yuzuki smiled sadly, "But if they're planning to commit a murder I am ethically obliged to take action to prevent that murder."

Then her countenance became disconcerted; the subject in question having brought her own situation in light. She frowned as if she herself was confused with what she was thinking, "Wait." She approached wearily, "Does that mean…I'm dead?"

Shinji tilted his head, "Whad'ya think? It's impossible to enter Soul society without dead. You're body's probably rotting under water in wherever you're from, making it a nice feast day for fishes."

Yuzuki sat in the chair, frozen as she soaked the news in.

_I'm….dead….I'll never be able to go back to the real world as human…_

"D-Does that mean I can't become human again?" Yuzuki hopelessly said, "I mean I've seen films where you can give human one more chance, right?"

"Well….you can. But you can't unless you become shinigami or you die as a soul. You only get one chance at life." He joked.

"A person's death is not funny!" She admonished, offended by his obvious lack of sanctity of life then her voice trembled with desperation, "I-I have a life there!" Who dies right after breaking off with their cheating, bigoted idiot of a boyfriend?!

He studied her with cold look, standing up, "Don't everyone?"

Her jaw dropped at his careless answer and the room became silent after a small 'clack' of closing door.

* * *

After being left alone to collect her emotions, coming to terms with her 'death' was something she was used to. Only that the one who experienced them was her patient and she was the listening ears and supporting voice. Now she was playing the role of both. The five stages of grief was expected and she was good at compartmentalising so the quick process wasn't surprising but it left some numbness inside her that made her uncomfortable.

She leaned against the wall and closed her eyes, hoping once she open them, she would be back at her bed where she would hear the bickering of her roommates over ramen or the next role as a cleaner. Yuzuki sighed, standing up from the chair and sliding the door open.

Since she was basically couch-surfing, she figured she could at least help even if it was minor things like laundry or making food for the squad. And no, she still hasn't seen that Aizen guy who seems to be avoiding her or something but then again it's only been two hours.

Yuzuki decided to visit thirteenth barrack (she was quick to note the number when she was coming out), realising she hasn't thanked the guy for rescuing her from drowning as ironic as it sounds. It would be a little rude to come with empty hands but she didn't have any money or stuff.

As Yuzuki stepped inside the barrack, she saw amongst black cladded shinigamis, a familiar face amongst others and tapped him on his shoulder. He was the same person who was with the other guards.

"Um…" She started, "Can I see your captain?"

"Oh…sure." He said, surprised at her visit.

Yuzuki tilted her head, now that she was close enough to study his face, a feeling of familiarity stirred in her heart, not because she saw him that day but as if as if she seen him way before, "Y-"

Before Yuzuki could even scream, the man went flying to the wall and created huge dent in the cement where his skull had collided.

"So you're _that_ mystery girl?!" The woman with dark blonde hair and grey eyes, "Come, come I'll guide you to captain!"

She took hold of Yuzuki's wrist, dragging her along as she stuttered in shock, "B-but…he…brain damage…w-h-ow?!"

"I'm Kiyone, co-3rd Seat officer of the Thirteenth Division by the way." She grinned.

"I-I'm Yuzuki…" Yuzuki stammered, still in shock at the display of her monstrous strength, nearly tripping at the speed she was being pulled along.

"Captain~!" She called, catching the said person's attention, "You have a guest!"

Jushiro stared at Yuzuki in surprise before giving her a warm smile, "Ah, Yuzuki-san, what can I do for you?"

"I forgot to thank you for saving me."

He smiled humbly, "I only did what anyone would have done. It was Kaien who had saw and rescued you."

"Still thank you. Tell him I said thanks as well." Yuzuki said, blissfully oblivious that the man who had rescued her was in a comatose state from Kiyone's light 'shove'.

"Kiyone, please bring us some tea." He said and Yuzuki felt shouldn't refuse his hospitality.

"Yes, captain~" With that, she disappeared in a flicker of light. Yuzuki thought the speed was inhuman.

"It's called 'Shunpo'." Jushiro explained as if he read her mind, "It allows one to move from one place to another quickly."

Yuzuki nodded in understanding.

"The garden is beautiful by the way." She mentioned.

He smiled at her compliment, "It is a place I greatly favour out of all the places in Seireitei. It's a great place for me to recover."

"I brought tea!" Kiyone announced, setting the tray on the floor before flashing away once more.

Yuzuki jumped a little, startled by her sudden re-appearance and disappearance once again. He handed her the tea which she gratefully took and resumed to the question she was about to ask before the little interruption.

"You're ill."

"I am." He admitted, melancholy look gracing his features.

"Is it fatal?"

"As long as I don't push my body to the limit, I am fine."

"I'm sorry."

Jushiro seemed a little surprised at her apology, "There's nothing to be sorry about. It is not your fault."

"You don't have to pretend to be fine in front of me." Yuzuki said, sipping the tea nonchalantly, "I'm a psychiatrist. I'm used to sharing a person's burden. In this world, there are words that are harder to say than dying."

He stared at her, stunned, before another smile spread across his lip, "You are very kind."

"You must like bonsai pruning." Yuzuki noted, noticing the obvious trimming and layering although it lacked the artistic pleasure for the onlookers.

His face brightened up at her mention, "Yes! It is one of my favourite activities during my free times. A habit I'm fond of actually."

"I always wanted to try them to see what all the hype was about." She voiced casually, having always wondered its appeal after seeing Yuko-senpai's (worrying) dedication to it.

"Then come visit me so we can try together." Jushiro suggested kindly as Yuzuki stared at him in delight surprise, "I think it will be more fun than doing alone."

"Really?" He nodded and she smiled, "Thank you, when can I come?"

"You can come and visit my squad any time." He replied then, "Ah, may I ask you something?"

"Sure."

"Why did you accuse Aizen of treason?"

Yuzuki wondered if she should tell when he seemed unconvinced from the beginning, "I don't trust him. Because I see him for what he is."

Jushiro raised a brow, "How?"

She shrugged; she wasn't going to tell she heard spoilers of the manga, "It's always the quiet ones."

He blinked, failing to see the sarcasm in her tone.

Yuzuki had a feeling he wasn't used to hearing jokes, "Who do you trust?" She rhetorically asked, "How do you know? By how they appear or what they say? What they do? How? We all have secrets. We all tell lies, just to keep them...from each other...and from ourselves. But sometimes…rarely…something can happen that leaves you no choice but to reveal it." For a moment, her eyes stared into the distance, "To let the world see who you really are. Your secret self." She quickly recovered with a blink, "But mostly, we tell lies. We hide our secrets, from each other, from ourselves. And the easiest way to do this is not to even know you are. So, when you think about it like that, it's a wonder we trust anyone at all. Your faces when alone and the faces you show to others are different." Then with dramatic pause after sipping her tea, "And I know from experiences, he has many faces."

He let her words soak in before, "Then what do you see in me?" Jushiro asked, bordering between contemplative and light-hearted.

She stared at him, tilting her head before answering his answer truthfully, "I see nothing."

"Nothing?" He said, almost disappointed.

Yuzuki smiled, "I see nothing because what I see is what you are. Sincere and honest, that's the type of person you are." Then she crooked her head, "With occasional white lies I'm sure."

He only smiled.

* * *

"I thought you were dead ya know." Shinji said as soon as she came back to the barrack although the teasing tone in his voice said otherwise.

She frowned, "Why?"

"Your reiatsu is so low that it becomes overwhelmed by others'." He explained.

She sometimes had hard time distinguishing from his joke from serious because of the monotone in his voice and fixed expression.

"What is this reiatsu?" She asked.

"There's a library near the training ground." He replied lazily then he leaned in her ear, dangerously close that his hair tickled her nose, "By the way, the commander is keeping your existence a secret from the Central 46 so don't draw too much attention than necessary."

Yuzuki was taken back, opening her mouth with puzzled expression, "What is Ce-"

Then he spotted someone over her shoulder, "Yo!"

Yuzuki thought nothing of it, her eyes staring at the garden gathering her question again until, "Aizen, meet ya accuser, Yuzuki."

She looked up to see the familiar (evil) face, looking innocent and kind - everyone's favourite goody-two-shoes, the beloved golden poster boy for every shinigami inspired.

"Nice to meet you, Yuzuki-san." He kindly greeted as if she hadn't just accused him of treason hours ago before turning to his captain, "I came to report that all the official documents were done."

"Ah, right…paper work…I forgot about that." He deadpanned, "Well done, ya can go and play."

Aizen nodded, bowing slightly to Shinji and Yuzuki and headed his way.

As soon as he was out of earshot, Yuzuki voiced, "It's obvious that's a façade."

Shinji shrugged, deciding to not get involved, "He's just an ordinary guy."

Yuzuki stared at the direction where Aizen disappeared, "Too ordinary. Don't you think?"

* * *

She found unless she approached them first and made herself known not as unapproachable or cold as others thought since none of the shinigamis would do it first, she was destined to be friendless. They were all angered by the fact she accused Aizen in front of captain-commander of sin worst of all: treason.

They all spoke (freakishly) similar as if what to say was scripted and rehearsed; of his down to earth personality, his humbleness, his humility, his genius level intelligence and power to convince her he was far from being a traitor. But all that just showed how much traitorous web he weaved around others.

The saying goes 'Every man has three faces. The first is the formal face he shows his betters and those he works with. The second, the intimate face he shares with only his family and closest friends. The third is the personal face known only to himself.'

If your typical man has three faces, then Aizen has only one-and-a-half, at best. Unlike most of the shinigamis, he has no one with whom he can reveal a different facet of his personality. He has no friends and no family to share his intimate face, and as a result they only ever see one sides of him: the persona he holds as Shinji's loyal and diligent lieutenant. Naturally, nobody's at their most interesting when they're on the job, but Yuzuki think otherwise for Aizen. He's at his most interesting during his job. Oh, the irony.

And so began her observation – of course it was from a purely professional curiosity as a psychiatrist wishes to peruse deeper into the psych of a bizarre and complex being coupled with Ryo's mentions of this man's personality.

It was just on the qui vive of his daily interactions with others and his sociability which like any sociopaths(?) who learned through trial and errors to hone their social dynamics was perfect to a fault. To others anyway.

It's easier for anyone who knows a secret to see through the lies and quicker to spot the truths. He had a smile on his face all the time, a gentle looks that deceived others into false security and neutral tone that eased one's worries. Of course, everyone – once in a while – take up that same mask but not every day; it took tolls on their psyche too. She bet never once he seemed to be having a bad day (unlike any other normal people would).

She followed the other shinigamis into the training ground, taking seat beside Shinji and watching in awe as the katana clashed with audible 'cling', having forgotten her little experiment. Their movement was swish and graceful, like a crane delicately dancing on the water, their power unmatched by anyone she knew.

Her eyes strayed from the practical battle and landed on another's dark orb. Aizen's eyes to be exact. Their eyes met across the moving bodies, and he gave her kind smile much to her irritation.

"Staring contest?" A voice interrupted her out of her thought and she jumped momentarily, cutting the contact.

Yuzuki snort at Shinji's claim then said, "You know how there are, like, serial killers, and then there's Hannibal Lecter?"

Shinji frowned in confusion.

"Then there's Aizen."

"You humans are weird."

"Why do you think my job exist in the first place then?"

* * *

Yuzuki stretched her stiff back after serving over 200 hungry shinigamis dinner, doing laundry and cleaning up after them. God, she knew it would be an arduous task but never knew it was this much. She was used to cooking and serving food since her mother owned a restaurant and she occasionally helped out with her sister but they wasn't as busy as this.

The exhausting day was over and that left Yuzuki time to think as she admired the large moon warmly illuminating the night sky. It was a beautiful night.

Then her mind tracks back to the living world. Her world. Would they have noticed her disappearance? Of course they did, she almost scoffed at the absurd thought. A human existence makes a long lasting impression to those who met them as long as the meeting was worth something and it doesn't disappear just like that.

Anxiety sets in and she begins to worry about everything she had to leave behind. Her interns she was tasked to guide, her patients she was obligated to help and her work ethic as a doctor. And right now, she was a horrible doctor. That's just her business life.

Her personal life was a little bit complicated and crook like Gordian's knot, messy and messed up unless someone comes and cuts them in half. Except that instead of Alexander the Great, it was Hayashi Yuzuki, just an ordinary psychiatrist, who had to do the cutting and there were bets that are at stake she couldn't ignore.

"Can't sleep?"

"Just admiring the night sky." She looked at Shinji, returning his question, "What about you? Can't sleep?"

He shrugged, "Night sky admiring."

He sat himself next to her, looking up at the full moon and they remained in comfortable silent until Shinji asked, without taking his eyes off the moon, "What happened to your foot?"

She immediately knew he was asking about the very faint scar lining the sole of her right foot from the bottom to the top arch and she was impressed he could see it despite her leg stretched away from her body, "You're very perceptive."

"You didn't answer my question."

"I stepped on some glass when I was younger and it left a scar."

"Don't tell me you're one of those deep-meaningful-stories-behind-the-scar type person."

Yuzuki smiled, forlornly, "Don't everyone?"

"What are ya plans for now?" He said, deciding to change the subject.

She turned for his opinion with a challenging smile, "What do you suggest?"

He locked his eyes with her's, searching, "Become mine."

_Do all shinigamis suffer from some form of mental illness?_

* * *

**A/N: Thanks for reading, hope you guys enjoyed it and leave your thoughts in reviews!**


	3. Hozho

The Moon That Embraces the Sun

Chapter III:

Hozho

* * *

Title: The Moon That Embraces the Sun

Rated: M

Summary: Hayashi Yuzuki is a psychiatrist. Despite her chic and competent exterior, she is compassionate towards her patients but dismissive regarding her personal life. While she specialise in fixing the lives of other people, have trouble fixing those closest at hand, her own. She soon finds herself transferred into the universe of Bleach, 110 years before the start of the series.

Pairing: Aizen x OC x Ichigo, Jushiro x OC x Grimmjow

* * *

Thank you guys for those who reviewed and alerted my story:

**Enchanted Elf**- I'm lazy too! So don't worry about it! Hahaha, I had this person dress up as shinigami on my friend's granpa's 90th birthday lol! Soon, Aizen will be acting like his real self although she first need to prove her worth to him XD which won't be long ;)

**Anime hotty lover.18**- But did he meant it is the question :D hope you enjoy this chapter!

**Cereza101**- Yes I did! Hannibal our favourite cannibal lol! The Hannibal television series are beautiful! The visuals and the scenes! Even the character interactions are just full of tension that you just wanna explode! Yeah, I think humans in general are attracted to the unknown though fearful of it. Curiosity killed the cat but satisfaction brought it back! Yeah, people like Aizen has similar pattern in terms of their character. God complex without a doubt and narcissism. The quote about people having different faces is an actual Japanese proverb :)

**Guest#1**- Well, you'll find out here soon!

**AriaTheScarletRose**- It was unexpected to me too because even though I had rough outlines of the story, I never thought I'd write the chapter this soon! And then I got sucked into Bleach….this is the result haha! Thank you for your support! I appreciate it!

**darkangel**- Yes Yuzuki is brave. I mean, we both would be if we were dealing with some dodgy people whose mind is not always in the right place 24/7, 365 days a year!

**mary**- Thank you! Janus is undergoing a little reconstruction at the moment so it will be some time before I make another update. Sorry for the inconvenience.

**White** **Orchid**- It is…or is it? Knowing Shinji, there's always something in his mind that's complete opposite of what he says! Well, trying to steal your captain's woman right under his nose won't be easy! XD Yuzuki will see Ichigo…probably a little later but before they can meet, he's gonna have to go through Aizen haha!

**insertnamehere**- Thank you so much! Here's the next chapter, sorry for taking a little long updating this! Other stories are currently being written as we speak!

**Kimkiller**- Hahaha I'll try to make Yuzuki interaction with the characters you've mentioned interesting! Although interaction between Yuzuki and Ulquiorra will be defo interesting! Chic Psychiatrist vs nihilistic hollow! Haha yes, Yuzuki is short and petite! Whoo hoo glad the information was correct! Fast confession…or something else? You can always call her Yuzu! That's her nickname and it will play a role in Ichigo's search for her keke!

**Aleiaa**- Thank you! Hope you enjoy this chapter as well!

**Claire** **Celeste**- Hi Claire! I'm so glad you learn something out of my stories! I am aware of young minds reading my stories and wish to teach them useful while at it so I'm really happy and proud too that people are getting something out of this :D I'll make sure to add more good quotes in the story later on.

You're going to study psychology?! I hope it was my story that kind of influenced you on that! I'm doing psychology in uni and I'm definitely enjoying them although statistics (ugh math) and research methods are my worst enemy! How's comsci? What do you learn in comsci? I always wondered about that subject since in this modern age, computer is something we can't live without! (can you imagine living without computer?! I can't!).

I can say you'll enjoy psychology and if you have any question regarding psychological subjects, just ask! I'll do my best to answer them :)

**Hachikonohime**- I love Yuzuki's character so I'm glad you like them too! Her past will slowly be unravelled and there will be other side of Yuzuki shown than her strong and brave side she usually shows. Haha don't you just love Shinji and his jokes! XD he's one of the comical characters in the show you just know you'll end up laughing when he shows up haha!

**EdenMae**- Thank you! Glad her character is interesting! Hope you enjoy this chapter too! :D

* * *

**Title meaning:**

**Hozho- **_**A Navajo concept referring to harmony, peace of mind, goodness, ideal family relationships, beauty in arts and crafts, and health of body and spirit.**_

* * *

If anyone were to see them, they would see a grumpy elder, presumably their grandfather, heatedly castigating his grandchildren or comically, disagreeing with his grand-daughter's choice of husband and announcing 'I shall never give my precious grand-child to a man like you!' like the overrated scene you see in morning dramas.

Shinji was half way to dream land while Yuzuki did her best to stay focus in respect for this undeniably powerful man but the scene was all too familiar to both.

"PUT AN END TO IT!"

'It' being the gossip that was spreading like wild fire of her (true) accusation of Aizen and creating 'unnecessary' panic and controversy across the 'peaceful' society which in turns risk Central 46 hearing such charge and his job being advocating and maintaining that peace, her presence was a threat – something she absolutely did not want.

"I'll take responsibility for this." Shinji stated, almost impassive at the implication of his statement.

Yamamoto glared at Yuzuki, eyeing her as if she was a disease that must be eradicated before it could spread further before facing Shinji, "Then do it." There was a silent underline of 'your head is on the block' beneath his words.

The two walked out of the hall in silent, she saw his shoulder limp with a sigh and she could almost feel his eye rolling at the burdensome lecture.

"I'm sorry." Yuzuki muttered guiltily, "I didn't think it through."

He glanced over his shoulder with the same couldn't-careless expression, regarding her opaquely then he shrugged, "Nah, don't worry about it. The old man throws a fit once in a while. Comes with the age, I guess."

She knew it was meant as guilt reliever for her but it was also a self-comfort of some sort for him too, worried with the future outcomes. Her expression must have been somewhat pitiful that he motioned her over to come closer, flicking her forehead as soon as she was next to him, "Like I said, don't ya worry. That guy deserves some pressure."

They headed toward the exit with silence until Shinji turned to face her, "Have ya thought about my offer?"

It turns out that 'become mine' was basically a teasing double entendre for 'become a shinigami and work for me' but it also meant as become a 'personal' shinigami of his for her protection. That was the only way she could be protected and the only way he could protect.

"I answered your question yesterday didn't I?"

"'Did ya forget ta take ya med?' isn't an answer."

"I remember saying 'my ass' before that." She chuckled and they strolled quietly before she made her decision which wasn't hard at all.

"Yeah." She nodded, "Let's do it."

"You know what that means, right."

She gave him a look, "I learned judo, you perv."

"Like that would work." He smirked.

"OI DICKHEAD SHINJI!" was followed by a loud smack, whirlwind of hair and a yell with worrying sound of something cracking against solid wall.

Yuzuki wiped away the strands of her hair from her face enough to see a small blonde girl standing in Shinji's place and the person in question collapsed against the wall where huge dent was created from the impact of his body colliding.

She was horrified to say at least, it wasn't every day to see a person being flown across with such force. Yes, as a psychiatrist she dealt with the unpredictable with her patient but she was little disturbed violence seems so normalised here although she understood in a warrior culture; violence was a part of daily occurrence and to some extent, gesture of affection.

"Your face was especially flat and easy for me ta stomp on today!" She jeered proudly.

"Damn you, Hiyori!" He growled, grabbing his reddened nose.

"What, I ain't gonna apologise!" The girl now Yuzuki know by the name Hiyori asserted.

"I hadn't even said anything yet!"

"That means I really don't have to apologise!" She laughed until she noticed Yuzuki, "Hah? What you doing here?"

Shinji quickly recovered, soon standing in front of her in speed impossible to see with a serious expression, "She's under my care."

Hiyori howled, "_You_ with _responsibility_?! My ass!"

Shinji sighed before revealing, "She's my first love."

A slipper in the air, a loud slap then another body flying through the air, "Don't fuck with me! Like you can ever get a girl!" Then she turned to Yuzuki with a glare, "WHAT YOU DOING HERE INSTEAD OF ROTTING IN A PRISON?"

"Hayashi Yuzuki…nice to meet you? And I don't remember doing thing that would incur a prison time." She greeted although she was really tempted to slip her business card and suggest she take anger management class but she swallowed it because her danger alarm was going off like there was no tomorrow and she wasn't going to take the risk, not after what she saw just now.

Shinji quickly grabbed her wrist and pulled her away from Hiyori, "Like I said Hiyori, she's my responsibility and she was confused. Yuzuki was attacked by someone and she mistook him for Aizen."

Hiyori looked at him in a different light with a 'are-you-serious?' glare and when he wouldn't answer, she slapped him one more time before running off while unleashing her diatribe.

Yuzuki turned to Shinji who was still recovering from the wounds, "Who was she? Are you okay?"

He rubbed his sore nose, "Sarugaki Hiyori, a crazy, lunatic lieutenant of 12th division. I'm alright, I'm used to it."

"You're used to it? So she does this to you every day?"

"Pretty much."

"An interesting choice to show one's affection."

"Affection?" Shinji grim with disgust although she could see he didn't meant it and he was just as fond of her as she was to him and that made her smile at him knowingly.

"Ah," Yuzuki blinked, "Do you know anyone by the name of Kurosaki Ichigo?"

"No." He replied, almost straight away.

"Are you sure?" She frowned, furrowing deeper when he shook his head.

_It can't be…I'm pretty sure…unless…_

"Hey, is there someone named Kurosaki Isshin then?"

He pondered for a moment, "Well there is a brat named Isshin but not with that surname."

"Then what's that child's name then?"

"Shiba Isshin."

Yuzuki let it is, not questioning further because her suspicion was proved correct. She was definitely further back than the original manga timeline.

"Ah, starting from next week, you'll attend Shino Academy."

"What kind of academy is that?" She asked as they start walking back to the barrack.

"Shinigami academy."

"Ah…"

Shinji then wrapped his arm around her shoulder, pulling her along, "Now let's create a scandal."

"I don't know what was in his mind when he made you captain."

He smirked at her, flashing his trademark mirth, "Me either."

* * *

"I didn't know what happened…" Yuzuki whimpered, "I-I was just walking and someone attacked me…I thought…he looked so similar that…" She shook her head as if unable to bring herself to say further.

The shinigamis regarded her pitifully as she muttered, "Ever since I've been trying to convince myself of one thing over and over…"

"That it was beyond your control?" One of them said.

She looked at the nameless shinigami in the eye, "No... that it would never happen again."

"She'll be under my special care from now on, and will continue to be so after she becomes a fully-fledged shinigami." Shinji announced as he put his hand on her shoulder, "Treat her with respect."

Yuzuki could feel their stares linger on the closeness between her and their captain, undoubtedly the seed of suspicion planted in their head that there was something deep going on. Unfortunately for them, their suspicion will be answered quite clearly and shortly.

Once again, her eyes met Aizen's and they lingered before she turn to look at Shinji with a smile for good ol' bonus.

Then Shinji added something that both sent shockwave to his whole division and her, "Aizen will train Yuzuki on my behalf on everything she needs to know."

Yuzuki stared at him wide eyed and even Aizen too although it was soon back to his calm, accepting look.

"Hai." Was his simple answer.

She regarded Shinji perceptively, noting the tightening of his hand on her shoulder then she realised as his eyes darted down to meet hers'.

As soon as he finished delivering his intentions, Shinji flickered his wrist to signal others to leave and soon, Yuzuki and Shinji were left in the large hall.

"You're using me."

He looked at her in a manner of cold professional, "And ya to me. We're using each other. Don't forget that."

"I already know that," Said Yuzuki frustratingly before elaborating further, "You're using me to get closer to Aizen."

He smirked, "No, I'm using you to get _you _closer to Aizen."

She frowned at his absurd logic, "What are you saying?"

"Well, there's only so much that happens when a woman and a man get involved with each other."

Her eyes narrowed dangerously, "You're trying to make him…fall in love with me?!"

Shinji snickered, as if he was finding the concept of love and Aizen a laughable binary (well, she too, she wasn't gonna lie), "Not love. Obsess."

"That man is obsessed about power."

"For now. Who says woman and power doesn't go hand-in-hand? Nothing good come out when two mix together. I'm gonna use ya to bring 'im down."

"A person like him doesn't change so easily." She retorted.

"I know." He said, "But when they does, a guy like him falls deeply and single-mindedly, power or woman."

Shiver crept up her spine, "You're playing a dangerous game here."

"Everything in the world is a game, thinking you lost if you give up in the middle. You're stupid. The one who lasts till the end enjoying the game is the winner. That's probably the rules of this world."

"But every game has its ends. Life doesn't."

"It will." He said, "You might not see or feel them, but life has its end too."

Yuzuki was always respectful and non-judgemental about individuals' view – as a psychiatrist, the unbiased aspect was important in dealing and treating her patients and while she was compelled to challenge any maladaptive schemas**(1) **that patients had which may be harmful; the man she was talking to wasn't her patient nor 'normal' in general term so she decided to advise something basic and simple.

"Fine." She said, ending their conversation, "But next time, you have to think about how the person will feel before you say something. You are the one who will suffer from not getting along with people."

Yuzuki stood up and walked away, hearing an amused scoff as she closed the door.

* * *

When she went to help the kitchen staff, Yuzuki was shocked when they rejected her hand to volunteer.

"It's quite alright, Yuzuki-san." One of the older woman said, "You don't have to help."

She tilted her head in confusion, "I don't understand, why–"

"I told them." A voice drawled lazily.

Yuzuki glanced over her shoulder, "Why?"

Resting his hand on her head, bringing his face near her, "Well, I just want you to focus on your training."

Yuzuki was reminded of their 'deal', her palm folding inwardly into a fist, "I'm sure I can catch on with my studies alongside of helping for my troubles."

"That means you'll be spending less time with me." He feigned sadness.

Yuzuki felt an overwhelming urge to shove some anti-psychotic drugs down his throat and perhaps ECT**(2) **can be helpful too.

"Work with me." He whispered and Yuzuki was surprised how sincere and serious he can be at times.

She forced a smile, "Fine. I'll get to my studies then. Thank you for everything, oba-san."

Her eyes wrinkled as large smile appeared on her lip, wishing her good luck, "You can always visit."

Yuzuki was at least comforted by this fact, "I will."

As the pair walked away, Shinji pointed out, "You see your mother in her."

"Not really." She said.

"Does that mean you don't miss her?"

"Of course I miss her. I'm just used to being separated."

"You're not really close to her, aren't you?"

"I'd like to think me and my mum still share some sort of close bond."

"You seem to have complicated relationship with your mother then."

"And my dad." She added, "But where are perfect families in the world? I, more than anyone, should know."

"I thought we are supposed to play lovers?"

"Which we are basically using each other," Yuzuki countered, "We're just friends with benefit and I don't tell my personal stories to a man I've just met."

He smirked, "Glad you're not like most of the women around here."

"Most?"

"One who'll easily fall for Aizen's charm."

"I'm a psychiatrist," Yuzuki reminded, "My days revolve around ripping people apart and putting them together. And most people often fake and lie about themselves even when they want help. I'm used to liars."

"And it helps you're one yourself." He quipped teasingly.

She scoffed agreeingly, "Yeah. That helps a lot. To catch a monster, you have to be a monster. In this case, I have to be a liar, right?"

His smirk grew, "That's my girl."

* * *

The next morning, Yuzuki headed toward the academy with books in hands while throwing occasional stares on the ground to be careful not to topple over with potential weapon in hands.

The weight in her hands reminded her medical student days, always buried amongst the mountain sized tomes and carrying more than one bag sack containing her study materials. She was a bit startled when a considerable amount of weight disappeared.

"Need any help?" Asked the familiar voice.

She looked over to see Jushiro's smiling face and she gave him a grateful smile in return, "Yes, thank you."

"I heard you're starting academy today."

She nodded, "Back to being student again. I guess you're never too old to study."

"True." Jushiro nodded, "Even my shishou says his knowledge is still lacking."

"Your shishou?"

"Yes, Yamamoto-sama."

"Ahh, that old man."

He chuckled at her form of address for his teacher, "Yes him."

"Who knew you had a teacher like him."

"He is pleasant when you acquaint with him." Said Jushiro, aware of their tense relationship from the unrest.

"That man from Kill Bill needs to take chill pill before I can even say 'Hi'." Yuuki didn't expect him to reply back or to understand from the oblivious blink he was looking at her with.

"They say you were attacked." He suddenly injected, clearly wanting an answer from her.

"Yes, I did." She won't tell a useless lie when he could see through them.

"You still believe Aizen is a traitor."

"You know the answer to that." She grinned knowingly, "You're not as 'nice' as you appear to be, are you?"

"Only when I need to be." He answered with a small smile then, "Do you even know where the Academy is?"

"No." Yuzuki blatantly revealed much to his surprise, "There's nothing better than getting lost and finding your way on your own."

"Ah, I see."

"But it's better when someone helps you find it." Yuzuki smirked, "Thanks for bringing me to the Accademy, Ukitake-san." Yuzuki thanked, having found out his name from Shinji and the entrance to the school just few distance away.

"Call me Jushiro." He mentioned with a kind smile.

"Then Jushiro-san." Yuzuki complied, taking the tomes from his hands onto her piles. He gave a curt nod before walking away.

Yuzuki felt as if she was in her first day at university, anxious and nervous but agog and anticipating what the unknown will bring. She saw other students heading into the building carrying several books although not as many as hers' and a sword securely wrapped around their waist.

"Are you a new student too?" Someone asked, a girl who looked like she was in her late teen with dark brown hair and eyes.

"Yes." Yuzuki nodded, "Are you? I'm Hayashi Yuzuki by the way," She noticed the obvious absent of the sword or Zanpakuto as Shinji named it.

She nodded as they walked side by side into the entrance, "I'm Wakaba Ayame. I'm new too. Kami, I'm so proud I've passed the exam because I heard this year was the hardest yet to come."

"Exam?" Yuzuki frowned puzzled and before she could voice her thoughts, a louder voice announced to the new students, "New students please gather here!"

"Ah, quickly!" Ayame grabbed Yuzuki's wrist and pulled her along to the gathering groups and into the hall which looked exactly like a lecture hall.

They all sat down as the man, seemingly in his late 30s with black hair and grey eyes, took the centre.

"First of all, congratulation and welcome to Shin'ō Academy, I'm Shiki Akatsuki, I shall be your lecturer and guidance while at your time here." The instructor delivered, "As you know, this is the first step of becoming a shinigami…but don't be mistaken it will be easy. Look around you."

Yuzuki looked to her right and left, noting each and every one of the new faces that had similar emotion written on their countenance as the man continued, "Remember their faces well - your classmates and your future comrades, because by the end of this year, forty of you will drop out or fail and even if you do manage to become full-fledged shinigamis, the next time you see them, they might come back dead or you may never see each other again."

The whole room fell silent, the fresher's buzz replaced by trepidation that this wasn't something one must take lightly of - kinda like medical school but hundredfold.

"Since today is your first day, I'll let you off easy." Akatsuki ventured, "But don't expect it tomorrow."

The students slowly stood up from their seats, still shaken by the man's speech but more interested in introducing themselves to each other.

Yuzuki greeted to other girls around her, soon chatting away about themselves when the door opened and a familiar figure stepped in.

Gasps and murmur could be heard as the figure slowly approached the unsuspecting Yuzuki before playfully wrapping his arm around her neck and rested his chin on her shoulder, "Having fun?"

Yuzuki yelped, noticing the blond strand draped on her shoulder before she turned around to face him, their proximity dangerously close that their lips were an inch apart. She was glad she was like she was now and certainly her constant effort to initiate intimate gestures improved her physical symtoms too although she was sure Shinji could feel her flinch and the shaking of her body against his. Ten years ago, she would have hyperventilated and furiously shook him off of her.

"Shinji," Yuzuki forced a smile, keeping her tone balanced, "What are you doing here?"

He raised a brow as if she questioned to an obvious answer, "Why? To see you, of course."

"H-Hirako-sama…" Ayame and other students bowed, even the lecturer bowed in surprise.

"H-Hirako-Taichou," Akatsuki said in surprise, stepping up the platform to greet the fifth captain, "May I ask the reason for your sudden visit?"

"Ah, Shiki, nothing serious. Just visiting ma girl." He shrugged, "Look out for her, will ya? She has knacks for troubles."

Akatsuki stared at Yuzuki with wide eyes with realisation, "..O-Of course. Hayashi Yuzuki if I remember correctly, yes?"

She nodded, wondering how he knew her name and he smiled, "I was wondering who you were. It's not every day a student is accepted through recommendation."

Yuzuki wished he hadn't said what she suspected as all the eyes were on her and Shinji, there were glares and there were awed stares.

She clenched her trembling hands, attempting to mask them when something warm held them tightly in its fist. It was Shinji's.

"Calm down…" He whispered, just loud enough for her to hear as she clenched her eyes shut before opening them again.

When the tremble lessen, he slowly released his hold on her, before (much to her shock and others) a quick kiss on her hair before leaving the hall with Akatsuki, discussing over something although she could guess about who.

…leaving Yuzuki to deal with two hundred students who probably wants answers.

She could still feel the crawls of his touch and the urge to heave out the acidic content of her stomach.

Yuzuki silently counted the seconds of silent, _3,2…1_

"What is your relationship with Hirako-taichou?!"

"You got through recommendation?! Does that mean you _didn't _take the entrance exam?!"

"Are you two lovers?"

"How did you two meet?!"

"Is he a good lover?!"

"Isn't this nepotism**(3)**?!"One of the guy harshly whispered to his friend critically.

"Guys, woah! Calm down!" Ayame encouraged, flapping her arms in the air as Yuzuki were overwhelmed by countless questions and scrutiny, "Give her a break, will you?!"

"Then make her answer our questions." The same guy demanded angrily, "How is it that we have go through all those process and she just waltz in just from her relations with _him_?!"

"Yeah!" One of the girl agreed, "It's not fair! We sweat tears and blood just so we can step into the academy and just because she happens to be a lover to a captain, she gets easy ticket into the academy!"

"I didn't know." Yuzuki spoke up, silencing the hall, "I didn't know there was an entrance exam. And believe me, if I knew there was one, I would have gone through the normal process. I'm going to sit that exam if that's what you want and my relationship with Shinji is none of your business. Rather than gossiping like children with nothing better to do, shouldn't you be studying or training?" Yuzuki calmly stood up from her sit, "I'll see you tomorrow."

She left the hall, ignoring exasperated scoffs at her reaction and she just wanted to go to some place alone but Yuzuki needed to find Shinji. Now.

Frantically turning her head before rushing outside of the academy before heading down the direction she and Jushiro came.

It wasn't long before he made his reappearance with an irritating 'hey'. That gut of his.

She fought back the urge to _punch_him, "Tell me one good reason why I shouldn't kill you right now."

He rubbed his chin thoughtfully, "Hm…well I'm dead already so there's no point in that."

Yuzuki sighed and clenched her eyes shut, pinching the bridge of her nose, "Why didn't you tell me there was an entrance exam?"

"What's the point?"

"Every people in my class hate me now thanks to you." Yuzuki gritted out, "Allow me to take that exam."

He raised a brow, "You want to take the exam? It'll be pointless."

"Who knows whether I'm going to pass that exam or not." She retorted.

"I know you will."

Their eyes pierced through each other challengingly before Shinji sighed with a slump of his shoulder, revealing his defeat, "Fine. How long will you need? A month?"

"A week."

"A week?" He frowned, "You won't be able to– "

"Trust me." She said.

"A week then it is." Shinji complied, "Prove me wrong."

"I will." She smiled, "Thank you."

"You're welcome." He said, and then he motioned her over, "Let's go home."

Yuzuki walked over to him, heading to their barrack side by side as Shinji asked her, "Why were you trembling?"

"So you noticed."

"It was hard not to."

Yuzuki remained silent.

"Are you ill?"

A small smile spread on her lip, eyes lowered, "You're sharp. I can see why he made you a captain."

"Still playing woman of mystery?"

"It got your attention, haven't I?" She joked light-heartedly but much to her surprise, he replied seriously, "Yah. It did."

"Well, too bad for you." She smirked, "The more you know me, the more surprised you'll be."

The corner of his lip twitched slightly, as if welcoming the challenge, "Well, kid, I'm glad I've picked the perfect candidate."

"I'm not a kid," She huffed, "I'm pretty sure we're same age. And who said I'll do what you want?"

"I'm over two hundreds year old and you don't need to. He'll come to you."

"You're over two hundred?"

"We souls age slowly." Was his answer.

"Whatever grandpa."

"I'm not that old."

"Well you are to me." She grinned, noticing they have arrived at the barrack, "Now, I'm going to be in the library so don't distract me till I finish my exam."

He feigned sadness, pouting his lip, "But what if I miss ya?"

"Life's cruel." She said, heading toward the library and leaving behind one 'sad' looking captain.

* * *

Yuzuki wondered if she should have asked him at least what book she needed to start looking since the library was a bit bigger than she expected. A little bit like her university ones.

She predicted the questions will be linked to souls and zanpakuto perhaps also history of the soul society too? Her finger lightly rested upon the spine of the book that had 'History of seireitei' etched onto the cover, slightly tilting it back wondering if she should start with this one.

"Are you looking for something?"

Shiver crawled up her spine as her head jerked to her right direction and there he was, smiling kindly with a book tucked under his arm.

She silently regarded him for a moment, standing straight up and even then she was dwarfed by his superior height.

He patiently waited for her answer, unmoving in his position.

"Yes." She finally spoke; there was nothing to fear about this man she told herself. Yuzuki marched up to him even though there was no need; it was a symbolic gesture she wasn't going to cower in fear.

"I have an entrance exam in a week. Do you know what books I need to revise on?"

He looked surprised, whether it was at the revelation of her pending exam in such short period or she faced him courageously despite her accusation.

Aizen quickly replaced it with another smile, "Sure. Since I'm also tasked with your trainings, I can help you with your studies."

Yuzuki was about to shot his request down then Shinji's voice echoed in her head…even though she vehemently refused to do so. But like any psychiatrist, she was interested in his psychology. It wasn't every day you come across a complex character like him.

"Sure. Thanks."

"It's alright."

* * *

**A/N:**

_**Vocabulary-**_

**Maladaptive schemas – **Schemas is a general conceptual frameworks, or clusters of knowledge, regarding objects, people, and situations; knowledge packages that encode generalisations about the structure of the environment.

Piaget – a first psychologist to make systematic study of cognitive (the mental action or process of acquiring knowledge and understanding through thought, experience, and the senses) development and philosopher known for his epistemological studies with children – believes that our schemas usually develops from our childhood and childhood experiences.

For example, you may have a conceptual framework or developed a schema that all homeless people are rude. Because of this schema, you organise your actions around it and more readily look for information that supports this view while discarding information that disagrees with this perspective. Schemas exert a great deal of influence over us and sometimes hinder us from remembering new information because it does not fit into our cognitive framework.

Maladaptive schemas, according to Young, is defined as a broad pervasive theme or pattern regarding oneself and one's relationship with others, developed during childhood and elaborated throughout one's lifetime, and dysfunctional to a significant degree.

Young believes it relate mainly mainly to the lack of basic emotional needs met in childhood and a lack of appropriate relationships, bonds, and behaviors of the parents, caretakers, and others involved in the life of a growing child and is considered a pattern of established (from childhood) unstable reactions/behaviors to any given situation in life.

Maladaptive schemas may be made up of revisited (sometimes obsessively) memories of past hurt, tragedy, fear, abuse, neglect, unmet safety needs, abandonment, or lack of normal human affection in general. Thus, as an adult, Schema "modes" may become nearly reflexes as the patient is seeking approval due to unmet childhood needs.

**ECT – **stands for Electroconvulsive therapy is a procedure in which electric currents are passed through the brain, intentionally triggering a brief seizure. ECT seems to cause changes in brain chemistry that can quickly reverse symptoms of certain mental illnesses. However this practise is very rarely used and is often used as last resort when medication and therapy fails.

**Nepotism - **the practice among those with power or influence of favouring relatives or friends, especially by giving them jobs.

**Hope you guys enjoyed this chapter! Leave me your thoughts in reviews! Your comments fuels my passion for writing (and writing faster)!**


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